Dear Kris Jenner, What Are You Doing On KUWTK?

Photo: Timothy White/E!.
Many of the obvious problems in last night’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode can be traced back to Scott Disick, the sometimes-reformed playboy who smuggled a strange woman into not one, but two Kardashian family trips. Although all eyes were on Scott’s less-than-stellar behavior throughout season 13's "Family Trippin Part 1," someone else was behaving just as badly before our very eyes. And that person is Kris Jenner.
The momager proves herself to be the Kardashian family’s very own trickster god the moment they land in Costa Rica for a sprawling vacation. Kourtney Kardashian talks to her three children about their dinners as Kris and Lord Disick look on. Kris decides this is the perfect time to say one bizarre thing after another. "It’s interesting that your genes are so strong," the family matriarch tells Scott, apropos of nothing. “Because Kourtney’s genes were really strong. She was the most Armenian looking baby that I had." Well, now we know where Rob Kardashian got his obsession with the phrase "Armenian baby."
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Scott tries to pretend Kris’s line of thinking isn’t odd, and says, "They came out alright." This is when I realized reality TV’s top momager was simply trying to sew discord throughout the KarJenners with one conversation. "I think you should have another [baby] just for the hell of it," she urges. Wow, there are so many problems here. First of all, Kris says this mere days after Scott had another woman hiding in his Dubai hotel bathroom, which led to Kim Kardashian’s indefensible slut shaming rant. That already proves Scott and Kourtney maybe shouldn't procreate together right now. Then you toss in the fact Kourtney and Scott are not a couple. Yes, they’re sending mixed signals — that solo Mexican vacation and family trip to Colorado are chief among them — but Kris should respect her daughter’s apparent choices rather than sign her up for nine more months of pregnancy.
There’s a reason Scott isn’t even staying in the Kardashians’ massive Central American villa: he’s actually not with Kourtney. They constantly play at being a couple, but the mom of three refuses to confirm they’re in a relationship once again. So why would Kourt’s mother say she should have another baby with a guy she’s not ready to be with? We may never know that, but we do know Scott walks away from this chat planning to give Mason, Penelope, and Reign a new sibling. The next day, Lord Disick slides into bed with Kourtney in front of Corey Gamble, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian. "I’m just trying to talk to my wife," he tells everyone while repeatedly kissing his not-wife, Kourt. It’s all weird and it’s all after Kris floated her fourth baby plot.
Kris also strangely messes with Khloe after avoiding her youngest Kardashian daughter. With Koko already on edge and formerly holding a knife to her head, the matriarch asks about Cleveland, which is where Khloe’s boyfriend Tristan Thompson plays for the Cavaliers. "I wish Tristan wasn’t playing basketball," Kris says. "Because he could be on this vacation." Khloe correctly points out she doesn't wish that fate on Tristan, since basketball is kind of her boyfriend’s career. "I know but I mean it would be nice if he was on vacation," Kris insists. "When are you going to bring him on a family vacation?" Khloe explains she doesn’t want her guy to join KUWTK any time soon and ends the conversation staring into the ocean, probably thinking about walking into it and never returning.
Kris wraps "Family Trippin" by working her trickster magic on Scott once again, after the entire Kardashian clan finds out Lord Disick flew a woman named Chelsea to his hotel room. At the world's most awkward dinner, Kris finally declares, "I think what we're wondering is if you have a girl here and why." With Loki-esque powers like this, we assume Kris Jenner is getting top billing in the next Avengers movie.
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