Esteemed actor and known sharer of prime anecdotes Colin Farrell recounted a harrowing tale of betwixt-the-legs grooming on The Ellen Show, as People reports. Asked to share a shocking story to raise money for charity, the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them star naturally turned to sex. (Listen, it sells.) The saga begins with Farrell's first sex scene, a milestone for any actor. Before Farrell performed his first on-camera coitus, though, he needed to get a trim.
"I went up to the director Joel Schumacher and I had on a dressing gown and nothing underneath,” Farrell, 40, recalled. “I opened my dressing gown and I said, ‘It’s a bit, is it a bit…’ Cause I had, like most men, what you could refer to as ‘retro bush.'"
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Subsequently, Farrell took to his bush with a beard trimmer. You know when you're painting on winged eyeliner and you add a little to the left eye so that it matches the right eye? And then, because you've gone too far again, you add a little to the right eye? At the end of the whole ordeal, you have eyeliner wrapped around your entire head. Well, the same sort of thing happened to Farrell, who slowly inched his way down to a "landing strip" below the belt.
It's a familiar tune: "I trimmed the right side a little bit and obviously had to match it, so I trimmed the left but I overshot the mark a little bit. So I had to go back in and trim the right again, and I overshot that," Farrell said. "I went back in and re-approached the landing on the left, and then I looked down and I had a little landing strip."
He concluded by saying that he "didn't get his full-frontal after all." Presumably, this anecdote is about the filming of Tigerland, the actor's first collaboration with Schumacher.
It's been awhile since that first sex scene for Farrell, but he's still in the business of doing the dirty on camera. In the upcoming movie Beguiled, Farrell has a sex scene with Kristen Dunst.
"I am on the floor and my clothes are being ripped," Dunst told E! News regarding the scene. "I don't like it, I don't like it... To be honest, I'm like, 'Let's get this over with as fast as possible.'"
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Farrell, for what it's worth, is totally on the lady's side. Speaking to the same outlet, the actor explained that he does everything he can to make sure the woman is comfortable in such situations.
"It's harder for women. And women have in the history of cinema... been more exploited of course, through the means of sexuality, by men than men have. So, it's situations like that, any love scenes that I've been a party to over the years, you just [do] whatever your female dance partner needs," he said.
The real question is: Will he bring back the landing strip for his scene with Dunst?
Watch the full clip of Farrell's manscaping story, below.