The craziest thing about LAX's The Private Suite, a discreet, paparazzi-free terminal for celebs that opens May 15, is that it seems so expected. The luxury complex — where VIPs get a private check-in, TSA screening, customs and immigration process, and chauffeured BMW to and from their planes — starts at $2,000 per visit ($7,500 for an annual membership).
Bonus: You never have to interact with normals!
In the pre-recession, pre-Trump era — the early-aughts heyday of My Super-Tacky, Super-Sweet 16 and the Blinged-Out Housewives of Wherever (those are real shows, please fact-check me) — we wouldn't have batted an eye at this. It's actually been in the works for a while, but Business Insider recently got more details and now we know that it's opening this month.
The experience includes an eight-person team assigned to each private suite, providing guests with anything they may have forgotten, like headphones, iPhone chargers, and clothes. "Members spend their pre-flight time in totally private suites, each with its own bathroom, its own food-service pantry, a two-person daybed, and a runway view of aircraft landing and taking off," according to the website. "When it’s time to board, Private Suite members are driven across the tarmac, Head-of-State style, directly to their aircraft."
We've done plenty of reporting on the lifestyles of the rich and the famous, like the $80-million Great Gatsby luxury jet and some of the most expensive homes in America. Gawking at the 1% is a national pastime, and don't tell us you haven't done it. Then, there's the argument that some celebs absolutely need private protection because paparazzi won't let them live. But there's undeniably a ridiculous element to a luxury experience like this when you consider that most of us have to scrimp and save just to get on a JetBlue flight to visit our parents.
Like every day in modern America, this evokes an internal conflict between "Ooh, this is cool and I hope I get treated to a visit someday" and, "This is what's wrong with America and these people will be the first to go when the revolution comes." So, yeah, we're not sure how to feel. And that's nothing new.