Man Reports Wife Police Drugs Cocktail Umbrella

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Oftentimes, we measure a person's righteousness by how willing they are to cut personal ties to perform their civic duty. For example, we often point to a person who's willing to report a family member to the authorities for breaking rules, acknowledging their commitment to the law of the land — no matter how savage it may be.

One man in Wyoming, Minnesota certainly believed he was doing the right thing when he reported his wife to the police after finding what he thought to be drugs in her purse. However, when the cops responded to his call, what they found were very much not drugs.

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The official account for Wyoming police tweeted a photo of the scene earlier this month, writing,
"A man thought he found drugs in his wifes purse & contacted us. He was happy to learn that the items were just a broken cocktail umbrella."

A man thought he found drugs in his wifes purse & contacted us. He was happy to learn that the items were just a broken cocktail umbrella. pic.twitter.com/Yx5erLtzP0
— Wyoming, MN Police (@wyomingpd) April 2, 2017

Apparently, the man had never seen a cocktail umbrella before, and police officers had to Google photos of what they look like unbroken to show him that his wife was, in fact, not doing drugs.

@pigwigeon1 No we had to Google a picture of what a cocktail umbrella looks like not broken into pieces.
— Wyoming, MN Police (@wyomingpd) April 3, 2017

"When the officer who went out to take a look at it told the husband what it was, I think he was a little shocked," Paul Hoppe, chief of the police department, told BuzzFeed.

Of course, once police exposed the man for telling on his wife, Twitter had a field day trying to decide what the most wild part of this story was.

Was it the fact that he would tell on his own wife?

@wyomingpd Dawg, on your wife? That's a instant L pic.twitter.com/u8wrm9nDy2
— ♐*Rogue* (@tHeONicK) April 21, 2017

Or that he went into her purse in the first place?

@tHeONicK @wyomingpd Yo, dukes:
1st L: going into her purse
2nd L: can't figure out 2 piece cocktail umbrella puzzle
3rd L: snitching on your damn wife

Issa TKL
— Bla'Challa Boo Boo (@blackybooboo) April 21, 2017

Or maybe that it seemed he didn't even talk to his wife about it?

@wyomingpd What a snitch. He should have spoken with her, not treat her like a suspected criminal.
— Junji Hirata (@ShamanXII) April 21, 2017

Some even thought that he was purposely trying (and failing) to sabotage his wife.

@wyomingpd He was tryna set her up like the episode of the office when Mike hid the $300 basil leafs he thought was weed in Toby's desk
— CarmeloBANDSthony (@GooseTheVillain) April 21, 2017

Either way, this guy probably won't have the easiest time trying to explain himself. But at least he has the police department's well-wishes.

We wish him the best of luck in telling this story to his wife.

Bring roses and a card to make things easier, my friend. #GoodLuck https://t.co/UdyemF5QpC
— Wyoming, MN Police (@wyomingpd) April 2, 2017