How Having Sex On Camera Healed & Ignited This Couple’s Relationship

Photo courtesy of Efi and Walter.
Efi and Walter have hot sex. It's the type of sex that long-term couples crave: highly erotic yet deeply intimate. And you can watch them have it on the internet, since the two of them frequently upload videos of their aforementioned hot sex.
The Mexico City-based couple (link NSFW) has been together for over a decade. Walter was Efi's first sexual partner, and as a result, the two opened up their relationship to allow for new experiences, though it's clear from their videos that their relationship is wrought with emotional and erotic energy. Despite their bond, their time together hasn't always been easy: Efi was sexually assaulted by someone else shortly after she and Walter started seeing each other, and she's been working to reclaim her sexuality ever since. This is one of the reasons why the couple began having sex on camera for the user-generated sex site Make Love Not Porn (MLNP) four years ago. (FYI: You have to pay for a MLNP subscription to watch most videos on the site.)
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The couple's videos are filmed at home or outdoors while they're basked in sunlight, and they've garnered a loyal following on MLNP because of the obvious sexual chemistry and love they share. They say that filming and sharing their intimate (and steamy) love-making has only brought them closer and helped Efi heal.
To learn more about what it's like to broadcast their sex life to the world, and how doing so helped them recover from trauma, we spoke to Efi and Walter over Skype.
*Interview has been condensed and edited.
How did you first learn about Make Love Not Porn?
WALTER: "I don’t really remember; I may have read about it. I showed it to Efi, and I was like, 'See this? It’s cool; it’s an amazing project. It sounds like something we might want to be a part of.' So we decided to join."
Before Make Love Not Porn, had you guys filmed yourselves having sex?
BOTH: "Yes."
WALTER: "We did that just for fun as a couple."
I know you’ve gotten some great fan responses from your MLNP videos about how hot your sex is, despite being together for over a decade. Is it simply a matter of chemistry? What work do you two put into your relationship?
EFI: "From moment one, we had strong chemistry. It was like meeting an old friend for the first time. I think that friendship has been a big part of our sexual life. We can be silly about it."
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WALTER: "It’s going to sound cliche, but our relationship does feel like it was meant to happen. We’re not trying to aspire to put videos on the internet to get compliments for how good our sex is, because that’s pointless, I think, for us. Filming our sex life makes us feel sexier. At least, that happens to me."
EFI: "Also, I think our chemistry is strong because we’re open about the relationship, and we don’t feel threatened or scared to flirt with someone else. That openness has helped us to have that chemistry since the beginning."
Photo courtesy of Efi and Walter.
Do you ever watch your videos?
EFI: "Yeah, we have watched them. For me, it’s still a little weird. 'Oh, I do that; that’s the way I look.' When you are having sex, you have this image in your head of how you look. When you see on a video how you move, how you breathe, and what kind of noises you make, it’s weird, but it’s hot. It feels great."
WALTER: "For me, I think it’s really hot. It’s weird, and it also makes you reflect on yourself, but I think it’s mostly hot than anything else."
You both recently participated in a documentary for MLNP in which you were filmed having sex in a group setting. (Ed. Note: More info on that documentary below the interview.) Did that change anything between you two?
WALTER: "It was exciting. It was also a time when we had some things going on in our relationship that we had to face, so it was like everything hitting us at once. When the documentary was launched, it was confirmation that everything happened. It’s recorded, so it’s real. We shared things that were going on in our relationship and from the past that affected us greatly. After that, we had to face each other, and that was really difficult. But doing so brought us closer in the end."
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If you don't mind me asking, what sort of things were you dealing with?
EFI: "In an early stage of our relationship, something really horrible happened to me — I was raped. It marked our relationship, and it marked me as a woman and as a person. I had been trying to deal with this for a long, long time. But, of course, because I was doing it alone without anyone except for Walter, it was a hard thing for me to heal completely. So, I decided that I was going to just crack open about it in front of the cameras. Sadly, women get raped all the time, and it’s so hard for partners to try to help someone who is going through that. I was trying to send a little light to everyone who could identify with the things I’ve been through. Make Love Not Porn is not just a community; it’s not a sex tech platform; we’re like family you have never met. Sharing my story really helped me. I’m going to be open about my life, because what’s the point of living if you can't enjoy it and have to be so secret about your reality?"
Thank you for sharing that. I’m so sorry you went through that, but I'm glad this experience was helpful for you.
EFI: "When someone rapes you, they steal part of your energy, a very special part of your energy. You feel that emptiness inside of you. And when you heal, that energy just comes again in a stronger and more beautiful way. You realize that that’s part of a magical thing about being a woman. We can heal, we can recover, we can go through everything, the most horrible things, and just bloom again."
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On a lighter note, do your friends know that you’re stars on MLNP?
EFI: "Most of my friends know that I make videos for Make Love Not Porn. I also wear my MakeLoveNotPornStar T-shirt to work, so my boss sort of knows. My friends have been supportive, and they love that I’m in this because I love it. I want more women to be more secure and embrace their sexuality and their womanhood and be powerful and feel safe, even though it’s really hard sometimes."
Photo courtesy of Efi and Walter.
What about your family?
EFI: "Talking to my mom and certain people about it is hard, because Mexico has a double standard with sexuality. It’s still a taboo to have openness in relationships. If I went to my mom and said, 'I have an open relationship with Walter, and sometimes we can see other people casually,' she would be like, 'Oh, are you breaking up? What’s wrong with your relationship? Are you okay?' In general, talking about women’s sexuality in this country is hard. So, for a woman to say openly, 'I make love, not porn,' it’s not that easy. I haven’t told my mom about our videos yet. I’m seeing how her reactions are with other things before I tell her."
Are you going to continue to make videos for MLNP?
WALTER: "Yeah, we think so, as long as that make sense for us, we’re going to."
Do you have any advice for couples interested in uploading their own sex videos?
EFI: "Sex is a messy thing, and you shouldn’t have to try to make it perfect, like porn. It’s not like that. Sex is more exciting and more fun and more sexy than any porn film ever uploaded on a tube site. You have to be real and present, and be there with all of your senses and try to connect with someone else to feel the whole pleasure that goes with sex. Most of all, have fun. Let things happen however they go. Make it count."
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WALTER: "I will add that I think honesty is something that you need to keep in mind if you’re planning to do it. Also, empathy. I think that Make Love Not Porn is a wonderful medium to make empathy happen between people. I think that’s one of the most important things about Make Love Not Porn, and it’s something that you have to keep in mind while wanting to be part of it."
Last summer, Efi and Walter joined other Make Love Not Porn stars at Mermaid Ranch in Long Island for the purpose of having sex and bonding on camera. The fruits of their labor can be seen in a stirring and sensual documentary titled MakeLoveNotPorn: The Social Sex Revolution, a 15-min SFW film, which you can stream here:
If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
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