Jon Gosselin's Stint As A Male Stripper Was Pretty Underwhelming

You used to know Jon Gosselin as the father of eight (with Kate). Now you know him as a Never Nude.
Last week the former reality star announced on Twitter that he'd be taking part in the Men Untamed Male Revue Show at Caesar's Dusk Nightclub in Atlantic City, where he works as a DJ. The hype was intense, but, as it turned out, Gosselin's stint as a "male stripper" probably would have ended up on the Magic Mike cutting room floor.
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E! News reports that Gosselin stayed fully clothed throughout the performance on (sigh) April 1, which coincided with his 40th birthday. Though he danced alongside the show's male entertainers to striptease classics like Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back," Ginuwine's "Pony," 50 Cent's "In Da Club," and Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy," the star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 didn't actually strip. Instead, he took off his shirt to expose a tank top emblazoned with a picture of six-pack abs.
"To my family, I apologize," he reportedly joked to the audience during the performance, which was more Tobias Fünke and less Channing Tatum.
In all fairness, Gosselin's bait-and-switch did benefit a good cause, he later explained in a video posted to Facebook. He said he would be donating some of the proceeds from the show to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
Via Facebook.
Speaking of being generous, he also claimed to have broken the Internet. Can we please retire that phrase?
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"Hi, I'm Jon Gosselin, and I just broke the Internet," he told fans. "And I messed with the media a little bit. I've been under media scrutiny for a good part of my life, and with filming and the media, it's an editor's decision how I'm portrayed. When it comes to the media, some are worse than others.
"So why did I do this?" he continued. "Because I wanted to give myself the best 40th birthday present ever. I wanted my family and friends to be there, and why not have a huge party in an amazing venue?"
He also disputed reports that he'd be stripping down.
"Stripping?! Who said I was stripping? I'll tell you who said I was stripping. Some of the media said I was going to take my clothes off based upon a flyer. April 1st? April Fools' Day? Where did they get stripping? Oh, I get it. Men Untamed. Men Untamed is a choreographed male burlesque show, not a strip club."
Riiiiight. We hope the audience members who were denied the chance to see some Gosselin flesh will be able to find the strength to go on.
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