For as ~*body positive*~ as I've been for the last few years, I've still had a lot of internalized shit about my stomach roll and back rolls. Yesterday, however, changed something for me. It was a crop top. One that accentuates my back fat, making it more pronounced. I almost ripped it off, but then...Y'all. I THOUGHT MY BACK FAT WAS CUTE. I looked at something I've hated/felt indifferent about my whole life, and yesterday found myself saying "awww my cute back fat!". Lindy West did an interview recently where she said 3 things that profoundly moved me (paraphrasing): -it is exponentially difficult to take care of a body that you do not love. -it is a not a moral imperative to be healthy. Fat people do not owe you health. -fat bodies are not thin bodies failing. Babes, a body is never wrong. We're all on our own separate journeys with ourselves, and whether the goal is to love your body or even just see your body as a working thing, with no projection of beauty is a radical idea in our patriarchal/oppressive/capitalist society. Additionally, I have to point out that while this revelation of my sexy ass back roll is exciting, it's also privileged and a little complex: it took a new a piece of clothing to wake something up in me. I wish I could gift this feeling of radical joy of reveling in self to everyone, including my younger self.
This Is What A Gentle C-Section Actually Looks Like (Kinda Graphic)