They say shopping at Ikea together is the ultimate relationship test. If you can make it through the aisles (and aisles) of the furniture emporium without fighting — and manage to walk out with a shopping cart full of stuff you actually need and agree on — your love will last. And if you can actually assemble everything without quitting midway through and calling it a Netflix-and-do-nothing night? Wedding bells.
Sometimes the only way to pass the test with flying colors is to document your entire harrowing experience on social media. At least that's what one woman's husband did — and it might just be why they survived their Ikea day.
The husband, reports Someecards (where you can see his entire photo essay in all its glory), decided to turn the couple's Ikea trip into his very own plaintive lament on really not wanting to be there.
"We are here. Our apartment is furnished. I am not sure why we are returning," he started.
Of course, they look at a whole bunch of stuff they don't really need. It's not a trip to Ikea otherwise.
"Perhaps we are here for institutional storage solutions," the husband wrote. "My wife says, 'Maybe when we have eight kids.' We have zero kids. We move on."
You will always want something you don't need at Ikea. Like candles. So many candles.
"We are looking at candles. We have many candles. We bought our current candles at Ikea. These are slightly different."
Well into the journey, the guy still doesn't know why he's at Ikea. An existential crisis sets in.
"This is not a mirror. Our ultimate purpose remains as mysterious as the little dots over the vowels in the item labels."
(Uh, those have a purpose, dude.)
Just like life, Ikea doesn't make sense — but there are so many charming wild things to be found.
"My wife is charmed by the stuffed rats. This does not alarm or surprise me, although I am surprised that the rats feature so prominently in the display. It is a strange marketing choice."
Tension over potted plants ensues...
"My wife says these remind her of baobab trees. I patiently remind her that baobabs are hundreds of feet tall. She will detach a retina if she keeps rolling her eyes like that."
And then...he is busted Instagramming instead of giving Ikea the attention it deserves.
"I've been busted."
They are finally at the end of their journey. After a trip this stressful, ice cream is in order.
"We are checking out. We have a microwave cover, a sugar bowl, and a drawer divider. We do not have a mirror. 'I want ice cream,' says my wife."
Somehow, Ikea actually ended up making their love stronger. It really does have an uncanny power.
"'I love you forever, even though I already have to,' says my wife. I love her, too."