This Story Is Proof You Shouldn't Assume Your Partner Has A Fart Fetish

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.
It should go without saying, but maybe you need a refresher: Don't fart in someone's face during sex unless you've gotten a clear "yes" that that's what they're into. One Reddit user learned this the hard way, and people can't get enough of his story.

Posted in the subreddit TIFU (Today I Fucked Up), user AskMeAboutMyTie decided to open up about an experience he had when he was just 18 years old.

"Now before I begin, it should be noted I'm an only child. Therefore I had no sibling to teach me about the birds and the bees, and my parents worked ALL the time," the post begins. "Everything I know about sex today is through experience and the wonderful world of the internet."

What he means is that at age 18, he hadn't learned about the wonderful world of queefing, or when air escapes through the vagina after being pushed in during sex. This will become relevant in a moment.

"My life consisted of throwing parties at my parents vacant mansion and sex. Every 18 year olds' dream right?" he continues. "Well at one of my parties a group of college girls showed up (I was still a senior in high school) and the hottest girl of the college group was giving me vibes that she wanted to get it on. One thing let to another and we head up stairs."

As they were getting started, he decided to warm things up by going down on her.

"As soon I get down to that region she lets out the smallest 'toot.' Confused, I looked back up at her and she is still in a moaning bliss waiting for me to start as nothing happened. 'Did she just fart on me?' I thought to myself. She was still begging for it so I shrugged my shoulders and we got it on."

As many sexually active people may know, that was not a fart. T'was simply a queef, which is fairly common, though admittedly surprising when first encountered.

"Fast forward a week and we're now kind of 'dating,' still having sex at least twice a day like new couples do. And each time she would let out a small 'toot,'" he writes. "I liked her a lot and didn't want to freak her out by asking her about it, so I decided to go to my friends (bad idea). They proceed to tell me that she's known as being a 'freak' in bed and I just need to along with it."

So, instead of bringing up the noises and asking the girl what she likes, he decided to make a bold move that immediately backfired.

"So that night we start fooling around and this time she wants to go down on me first. She's giving me the typical BJ when she goes down a little further for a little ball play... that's when I cock my legs up and release the biggest fart I could muster. I swear her hair flew back as if she had her face in front of a fan. She immediately stops what she's doing and looks back at me in disgust. I smiled with pride and said 'that's all for you babe.'"

Like anyone who gets farted on without consent would do, the girl was horrified and immediately left. But don't worry. "That girl is now my wife," the post ends. What a romantic story to tell their kids.
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