Ok! Let's do this thing. Jane the Virgin (Jane the Meddler?) is back again, and despite what she learned from Mr. Bee last week, she's still meddling. I promise I will never stop coming up with alternative titles for this show post-Jane's virginity, even if you politely ask me to. Alternative, not to be confused with alternative facts, of course.
Jane the Virgin has always flirted with fiction versus reality. The premise of this show is so unbelievable, that it took me way longer than I'd like to admit to getting myself to watch it — and I'm so incredibly grateful to the darling folks who made me do it. I don't know what I'd do without Rogelio in my life every week. I guess you could say that I have an #emoner for him.
In "Chapter Fifty-Three," everyone is struggling with fiction versus reality — or, who they want to be and who they really are.
And everyone is also stressed out which stressed me out. And I was already stressed out. I love every second of this show but wow — can't we all just relax for an hour? No, we can't because then this show would end and we need it to last forever. I need a #stressshed.
Jane always expects things to go wrong — because historically, they have for her. But in reality, despite some of the quirky/horrible things that have happened to her (getting accidentally artificially inseminated, criminal mastermind kidnapping her son), she has a wonderful family, a hot, smart, supportive husband, an adorable baby who can say words now, and a novel in the works.
Petra thinks she's a master manipulator. But in reality, she's anything but. Because deep down in a part of her she hasn't accepted yet, she's a good person. But she's certainly found it in her babies. I keep forgetting that Petra has babies. Show us the babies more, please! But little does Petra know that Scott learned a lot from being her assistant. Like, way, way way too much. Vests could end up being even more successful at manipulating than Petra — which isn't saying much, but still pretty bad.
Rogelio thinks he and Darcy are perfect for each other — that now he's over Xo, it has to go well. But in reality, Darcy isn't like the women he's known in the past. She has her guard up. She's the opposite of Rogelio. While Rogelio is caught up in the fantasy and the romance (which Donald Trump has ruined, along with other stuff — thanks, Narrator!), Darcy is caught up in the reality of relationships — and more specifically, the relationships in her past. These two are adorable and I hope it works out.
Michael's allergic reaction looks like my face did after someone popped a bottle of champagne in my eye by accident — I feel his pain. But honestly, the damage is worth the sleep. Michael thinks he can take a casual approach to studying for the LSAT — i.e., the opposite of Jane's approach, but in reality, his eye blows up and he, Jane, and Mateo end up embarking on an impromptu camping trip.
Catalina's storyline never seemed to go anywhere, besides give Abuela's feud with her sister the spotlight it needed to inspire Jane's novel. Even Catalina's heartfelt reveal to Rafael that she can't have kids didn't do anything for me. Because we know nothing about her except that she's a liar and has good sex with Rafael, making it hard to believe her — despite the fact that she helped Rafael by “working” to Petra, and Jane by association. I don't think this is the last we've seen of Catalina, but I won't be mad if it is. At this point, she's more forgettable than Petra's babies.
The stress storyline between Jane and Michael is probably the most relatable relationship plot I've seen on television in recent memory. Stress stresses everyone out, and hearing about stress — especially when you're in a relationship — is stressful in and of itself. I admire the writers for portraying this in a realistic way.
I am so rooting for Rogelio and Darcy that Xo and Bruce can stay together forever, as long we can get some screen time to Rose and Luisa. Seriously. Where are they, exploring the Titanic? This show is enjoyable without an update every week, but I'm pulling my hair out right now — you just thankfully can't see me right now.
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Jane The Virgin Had Sex & It Was Really Really Bad
Why The Jane The Virgin Abortion Episode Was So Revolutionary
How Can We Reconcile Loving Terrible People On TV?