Actress and comedian Lea DeLaria, who plays Carrie "Big Boo" Black on Orange is the New Black, has announced that she and fiancée Chelsea Fairless have ended their engagement. The former couple, who got engaged in January 2015, recruited Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor to help break the news in a joint statement posted on their respective Instagram feeds. Don't hurt your brain: The late Jacko and Liz were Photoshopped in from their appearance at Liza Minnelli's 2002 wedding to David Gest.
Apparently this was an eerily prophetic choice of engagement photo as our relationship has since gone the way of David and Liza, with one small exception: our split is amicable. Please exclude us from the tragic and basic celebrity breakup narrative. We were happy together for four years and will remain in each other's lives. In fact, we look forward to finding new ways to torture each other. We would like to thank our incredible friends and families for their love and support ❤ xoxo Lea & @female_trouble
That, friends, is what we call #FormerRelationshipGoals. Feel free to follow their cool and carefree lead, 'slebs.