Love & Hip Hop Episode 3 Recap: "White Men Are Just As Messy"

Photo: Courtesy of VH1
Most of Love & Hip Hop, episode 3 was fluff content to pad two significant moments in the episode that I’ll talk about later. Remy Ma and her family are no-shows this episode and Kimbella decides that maybe she should trust Juelz. Shocking. Following last week’s strawberry blow up, J. Adrienne goes to Kimbella for advice on moving forward with Snoop. Kimbella suggests that she become more independent. Not bad advice, actually.

Now for the juicy stuff...

Bianca & Sky come to a head
Love & Hip Hop certainly didn’t waste any time bringing the simmering beef between Bianca and Drewski’s girlfriend and assistant, Sky, to a boil. It took a little bit of plotting, but the inevitable confrontation happened. At least this time there’s actually some music involved.

While Sky and Drewski scope out a space for their joint venture, Strip and Fitness, Drewski gets a call from Bianca. Sky demands that he put the call on speaker phone and she does not like what Bianca has to say. It’s pretty clear that Bianca and Drewski have been flirting. As viewers we’re forced to painfully watch Drewski snub Bianca while she carries on obliviously. Bianca actually feels so attracted to Drewski that she reveals on the phone call that was inspired to write a new song called “I Miss You.” Drewski tries to diffuse the situation by suggesting that Bianca get on a track that he wrote about Sky, "Make It Official," instead.

But lover and secretary Sky already has her own plans in mind to sabotage Bianca and her career. She offers the part on “Make It Official” to Mariahlynn. What Sky doesn’t know is that Mariahlynn and Bianca are friends. It’s also worth noting the contradictions in Sky being obsessed with keeping “hoes” away from Drewski when she turns to Mariahlynn, whose breakout hit begins “Once upon a time not long ago I was a hoe...” for help. But there is only rhyme, and never any reason, on LHH.

A conversation between Mariahlynn and my personal lord and savior Cardi B. reveals that the song Mariahlynn has been offered was supposed to go to her friend Bianca. And the mischievous duo concoct a setup to get Bianca, Drewski, and Sky in the same room.

It was a pretty tame altercation given LHH’s history. No drinks were thrown. No wigs were snatched. But Bianca made firm threats to continue her not-entirely-professional relationship with Drewski and Sky made the same in regards to ruining Bianca’s not-entirely-existent rap career. The highlight of the showdown came when the ever wise Cardi B. pointed out that it was actually Drewski fanning the flames between the two ladies and observing that "white men are just as messy as Black men." We know she was only referring to dating, but given our current state of political affairs, truer words have never been spoken. #cardi4president

Where in the world is Little Mendeecees?
Yandy is still trying to figure out how to reunite her stepson, Little Mendeecees with his siblings. Since Mendeecees Sr. has been incarcerated, Jr.’s mom, Samantha, has been keeping him away from Yandy and the children she shares with his dad. Yandy gets intel that Little Mendeecees has actually been left in the care of Samantha’s mother, Kim. She thinks that she can provide a more stable environment for her stepson and approaches Kim with the information. And alas, the first table of the season is flipped. Kim flips the table and walks away from Yandy, furious that Samantha’s parenting is being questioned.

Kim wants to go to the source of Yandy’s information, Mendeecees Sr.’s mom, Judy. The two monster-in-laws already have bad blood and the conversation that Kim sets up between herself, Judy, Samantha, and a ex of Mendeecees with whom he also shares a child, Erika (if you’re trying to keep up with Mendeecees Sr.’s baby mama, just save yourself the headache and give up now. I don’t have time to draw a chart), was doomed from the start.

Instead of discussing how all of Mendeecees Sr.’s children can be apart of each other’s lives, Kim, Samantha, and Erika mainly want to address all the ways they feel disrespected by Yandy and Judy. Kim gets so worked up during the heated dialogue that she has a heart attack. Yes, you read that right. In perhaps Mona Scott-Young’s most desperate attempt yet to make the LHH dramatic, Kim starts to have chest pains — indicated by her constant declarations of “my chest” — and is rushed to the hospital.
Nothing will ever convince me that Kim’s health was at stake in that moment. Ever.
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