This Woman Explains Why We Shouldn't Ever Feel Guilty About Taking Care Of Ourselves

People, especially women, are often taught it's best to put others before themselves. Jess, the woman behind the @plankingforpizza Instagram, struggled with this when she discovered a family member was an alcoholic.

Since she was about to leave for college, she wasn't able to help her sister. She also felt guilty about not dealing with the situation in a more socially acceptable way.

"Even my therapist at the time told me I was a bad person for being judgmental when really I needed help knowing how to process and feel the unexpected news I had just been told," she said. "So I went to college lost, lonely, and feeling unloveable."

She's coming to understand, however, that spending time on her own and paying attention to her feelings wasn't wrong.

"I've had years of therapy and never once have I spent time learning about self-care, but only how to better live with others' expectations and demands of me," she wrote. "So for 25 years, I loathed myself because I never learned the value and importance of both self-care and self-love. But the day after my 26th birthday, I walked into therapy again after a few years' break and said, 'This year I'm choosing me'!"

Since then, she's ditched the fear that she's a bad person for prioritizing her own mental health. "This journey has been all about putting myself first. And it's not selfish, nor do I feel guilty. It's important. It's empowering," she said. "It has nothing to do with changing my body, but tapping into my fullest potential in the way that I want, not how others want it for me."

A month before I moved away to college, I found out a family member was an alcoholic. I was not compassionate and very judgmental towards my family in general during this time and moving away and being isolated from the problem only impacted me more negatively. Even my therapist at the time told me I was a bad person for being judgmental when really I needed help knowing how to process and feel the unexpected news I had just been told. So I went to college lost, lonely and feeling unloveable. I spent the first three years in college being out of the loop and feeling guilty not being there for my little sister. I spent my college years not getting to know myself and only doing what I thought was best for others and living for their expectations of me. I've had years of therapy and never once have I spent time learning about self care but only how to better live with others expectations and demands of me. So for 25 years, I loathed myself because I never learned the value and importance of both self care and self love. But the day after my 26th birthday I walked into therapy again after a few years break and said, "This year I'm choosing me"! And have been going for almost a year now. But in the process, I'm learning self care. I'm learning self love. I'm learning self value and respect isolated from the self hatred I placed upon myself because of what others thought and expected of me. After college I moved away, felt more isolated, and never learned how to self care. Until I started this journey. This journey has been all about self putting myself first. And it's not selfish, nor do I feel guilty. It's important. It's empowering. Learning my hearts intentions and my minds power and souls purpose. It has nothing to do with changing my body, but tapping into my fullest potential in the way that I want, not how others want it for me. Becoming my own person, putting myself first, learning self care and love has been a lonely adventure at times, but it has also been so self awakening, beautiful and powerful at the same time. Chose self care. Chose self love. Chose to be you as you see you for YOU 🌿✨💕 Outfit is tagged 🤗

A photo posted by Jess (@plankingforpizza) on

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