One major myth diet culture feeds us is that once we reach a certain weight or appearance-related goal, we'll be happier. But as an eating disorder survivor, Instagrammer @misunderstoodworm has learned how untrue this belief is — and how much harm it can do.
In a post this weekend, she explained how she arrived at the conclusion that her happiness is not tied to her size.
"The most important thing that I don't believe anymore is that the 'perfect body' equals happiness," she shared. "We've all been sold a lie that when you get the 'perfect body' you're going to be happy. Everything will be easier. Your ex will want you back, you'll have instant confidence, you'll be healthier, you'll feel great, and whatever is missing in your life will come if you deprive yourself enough and get 'the perfect body.' It's all a lie!" she wrote.
She also talked about how a few years ago, these thoughts would have seemed impossible. "If you had told me four years ago, when my multiple eating disorders were at their worst, that I could ever be this okay with myself, I probably would've said 'please get out of my room,' and I also definitely wouldn't have believed you," she said.
But it turned out the goal of accepting her post-recovery body wasn't as far-fetched as she'd imagined. "I do feel okay with myself," she said. "Even after recovery and gaining weight, getting stretch marks, people telling me I've gained weight, my clothes not fitting the same, I feel okay. Some days, I feel less okay, and some days I think I look great. Lots of days, I don't really think about my body or weight at all, which is another thing I probably never would've believed if you'd told me four years ago."
What is the secret to happiness, then? She has two ideas: "taking care of yourself and kissing a dog right on its mouth...twice if you want. But not three times. Because that's selfish as heck. That dog has places to be!"
She's right: Dieting rarely makes people healthy or happy, but self-care does. We all have to find our own paths to the realization that there's no such thing as "the perfect body," and that's why it's so important to hear women talking about their personal struggles and victories along the way.