HBO's Westworld raises more questions than it answers. Who is Arnold? What the heck is this maze we keep hearing about? And how exactly do these hosts slip in and out of the park unnoticed?
But there's one question that really keeps the R29 beauty team up at night: Who does the hosts' hair and makeup? We've seen their bodies hosed down and patched up, but nothing explains why they wake up with perfect waves, highlighted skin, and smudgy eyeliner — without a single product laid out on their vanities. (Dolores, we're looking at you.)
In fact, even though the show is Western-themed, the hair and makeup are fully modern. Dolores wears soft-brown liner and a rosy lip color — both of which look like they came from a Tom Ford counter (not the local goods trader in town). Clementine has a cut eyeshadow crease that's so strong, you'd think she was up watching YouTube tutorials until 3 a.m.
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But no one confuses us more than Maeve, the no-nonsense madame at the Mariposa Saloon. We've seen her whole cycle — from the beginning of her loop to the end — and her makeup is always impeccable. Even when she sits on the operating table, questioning her entire existence, she wears mascara, eyeshadow, and a touch of blush.
The obvious answer is that the hosts are programmed to do their makeup themselves. In one episode, Maeve tells Clementine, "Go find a mirror. Finish putting your face on." This implies that Clem and Maeve do their makeup themselves. (Perhaps it's in their skill charts, right after apperception and candor.)
Warning: spoilers ahead.
Warning: spoilers ahead.
But that doesn't explain why in last night's episode, Maeve wakes up — fresh off a night in HQ — with at least 20 minutes worth of makeup products on her face. Sorry, but who applied that grayish-purple shadow?! (And where can we buy it, while we're asking questions?)
When Felix gave Maeve a tour of the Westworld facilities, we thought we'd finally have our answer. The newly self-aware host witnesses every part of the host-making process — except one. She sees the hosts learning behavior and scenarios, she sees buffalo learning to walk, and she observes a pile of bodies receive a hosing-down. (Side note: Wouldn't such an extreme bathing process remove any hint of makeup?) She even walks through the design department, where she sees a designer sculpting the face of another host.
When Felix gave Maeve a tour of the Westworld facilities, we thought we'd finally have our answer. The newly self-aware host witnesses every part of the host-making process — except one. She sees the hosts learning behavior and scenarios, she sees buffalo learning to walk, and she observes a pile of bodies receive a hosing-down. (Side note: Wouldn't such an extreme bathing process remove any hint of makeup?) She even walks through the design department, where she sees a designer sculpting the face of another host.
But where was the beauty team? Is there a "finishing touches" department that moisturizes the skin, plucks the eyebrows, curls the hair, sweeps on eyeliner, spritzes on fragrance, and fixes lipstick — all before their loops begin? This was the time for an epic makeover scene, and sadly, we never got one.
Odds are, we'll figure out the maze, finally understand the Man in Black, and maybe even get answers to floor B82. But we'll likely never know who's behind the hair and makeup looks — and that's a mystery that will bother us long after the show ends. Violent delights have violent ends — but not without impeccable eyeliner, apparently.