Dorm Room Neighbors Exchange Surprisingly Polite Notes About Having Loud Sex

Photographed by Ruby Yeh.
The close quarters of a college dorm can be a breeding ground for tensionespecially when you add loud, disruptive sex to the mix. Imagine our surprise, then, when we heard the story of two Syracuse students who tackled the issue calmly, via polite hand-written notes. It's like something out of a Jane Austen novel — if Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy mainly discussed "making it nasty at a lower volume" and their fears of being #foreveralone.

It all started when Jenna Levine wrote to her neighbors, asking if they could keep it down while, well, getting down. She'd tweeted about trying to drown them out — "I have to listen to my neighbors having sex so now they have to listen to me parody pop hits to be about my dogs" — but apparently that didn't work, so Levine decided to send them a handwritten note.

"Hello neighbor," Levine wrote. "Please have sex a little more quietly please. Some of us are trying to nap & not be reminded how alone I am... Feel free to make all the love you want. Just please, make it nasty @ a lower volume. Thank you!"

Of course, she had no idea how her neighbor would react, so Levine assumed the worst. "I was so nervous when I slipped it under their door. I tiptoed away like a cartoon burglar," she told Mashable.

In a majorly relieving turn of events, her neighbors didn't just write back with an apology — they sent chocolate, too.

"Dearest neighbors," the note began. "I'm so so incredibly sorry about that. I didn't realize how loud I was being, and ya know, sometimes having loud sex is low key kinda hot but obviously at your cost, which I apologize so sincerely for. I'm so so sorry, I hope this hasn't occurred too often, and thanks so much for the incredible and hilarious card. I will for sure try to make it nasty at a significantly lower level. And hey, don't you worry, you're not alone forever. The right person will come along when the time comes. I was single for 18 years. Haha. Once again, I apologize so sincerely and deeply. Sorry, Room 338."

The accompanying chocolate came with the message, "Deepest apologies – hope you enjoy this chocolate bar!" written on its gold wrapping.

Levine told Mashable that they still haven't met IRL, but they have the rest of the year to get to know each other — and it's safe to say they've already broken the ice.

Levine captured the entire series of events in a single tweet, summing it up better that we ever could: "College is weird." Check it out below.
Advertisement