How Rough Is Too Rough? — & More Sex Questions Answered In Bed

Sex education is necessary to understanding not only how sex works, but also how to treat people with respect, find pleasure, and keep each other safe in bed (and in the world). But sex ed doesn't stop after formal education ends — unfortunately, for many people, that's when the real sex ed begins. This is where people like me come in. I began working at the sex-toy shop The Pleasure Chest in New York's West Village after college. At first, it was just a job I had to pay rent and my student loans, but it ended up being this incredible education about safe sex and sexual freedom — not to mention how to negotiate wants, use requested language in bed, and all the different reasons, ways, and styles people use sex toys. I ended up becoming a sex educator for the store, and I created and taught workshops on many different topics and spoke at colleges. Now that I'm at Refinery29, I've decided to share some of the wisdom I learned during my years as a sex educator in the video above. From finding boundaries during "rough" sex to teaching your partner to help you orgasm, I tackle a few of R29 readers' questions about sex — straight from a cozy bed. Watch the video above for a fun dose of sex ed. And remember: There's no such thing as a dumb sex question. Oh, and consent is beyond sexy.