The Bachelorette Episode 9 Recap: Cruel Irony

Photo: Courtesy of Disney/ABC.

We have all been holding our breath since last week’s hard cut at the rose ceremony. Okay, maybe that is some Bachelorette-level hyperbole, but it has crossed our minds once or twice and maybe involved a spoiler search and group text. JoJo was ready to send Luke packing and not for the jet to Thailand. Then he pulled her aside to clarify her feelings for her. One man’s clarity is another woman’s confusion. JoJo lost it in a puddle of tears on the tarmac.

This week we open on that tarmac meltdown. The other three guys are left alone and confused inside the hanger. Luke returns. JoJo follows and starts handing out roses. First, like so many other times goes to Jordan. The second goes to Robby. Chris Harrison, the harbinger of doom that he is, pops in long enough to point out that only one rose remains. That last rose goes to Chase.

Luke is shocked. Even Chase looks shocked. JoJo walks him out, apologizing through her tears. Luke can’t find anything to say. When he does, he just keeps repeating that this wasn’t supposed to happen. “I thought that the times that we had, that that magic was real. I thought that you knew that it was real,” he says.

In the limo, Luke sums it up: “I was in love with her, but I never got the chance to love her. And I think that’s what hurts the most. I barely got the chance to say it and then it was too little too late.”

JoJo cries some more tears over Luke but then jets off to Thailand where she is quickly over it. According to her voiceover, she went to bed wondering if she made a mistake and woke up confident in her choices. She says she has three great relationships, and she’s just waiting for the moment when she’s not torn. So, yep, see you, Luke. Don’t let that hanger door hit you on the way out. “I’m praying that this week brings me clarity,” she says.

Robby is the first Thailand date. They spend the day in the open-air market. Robby tells her he loves her like all the time. He tells her that he’s happy they worked through the issue about his ex-girlfriend. They catch up on their feelings during a relaxing pedicure. He reminds her that he has been honest about his feelings since day one. He was the first to say it, all the way back in Uruguay and he’s not going to let anyone forget it.

“A lot of people would have said it was too soon. But it allowed me to open up to you, and I think that’s why we are where we are today,” JoJo says.

This day has a special significance for JoJo. This is the day during her season on The Bachelor that she told Ben she loved him, and that didn’t work out so well for her. She doesn’t want to break any hearts the way Ben broke her heart.

They talk about the hometown visit. Robby told his family that he loves Jojo because, well, of course, he did. He says they could see it on his face. He’s even got the receipts. He pulls out a note from his dad that says as much. “I wanted you to know that the man that “knows me the best in the world” knows that I love you. That’s like a notarized receipt sent via certified mail, at least in Robby’s mind.

JoJo’s got a present of her own: the key to the fantasy suite. She says, to the camera, not to Robby, that she loves him. She also is looking to be the heroine in her own love story. Robby, always ready with an overly sentimental, cheesy line says, “I don’t have to dream about JoJo. I get to dream with JoJo.”

JoJo says she’s not going to tell anyone she loves him until the end.

She and Robby say their morning after good-byes and then it’s on to the next. That next is Jordan. Where Robby and JoJo basically spent their day at the mall, Jordan and JoJo have an action adventure date. Jordan arrives via boat, and they head out for a hike. Despite being the odds-on favorite since the first episode, things are all uphill for Jordan at the start of this date. Literally, they climb a very steep hill.

The path takes a turn downwards into a set of caves that hold a hidden temple. Jordan is feeling the moment. “Thailand is going to be one of those places we look back on,” he says. There’s no kissing in the temple, and JoJo has to cover her shoulders out of respect, but that’s a good thing for her. She knows she has the passionate, physical connection with Jordan. She wants to know if they have the same level of emotional connection.

They spend some time talking about the hometowns, too. Jordan is happy she met his family, and he’s looking forward to meeting hers. JoJo says her dad just wants her to end up with someone that he knows loves her. Jordan is thinking about JoJo’s dad, too. “My only reservation is that I always wanted to look in my future wife’s father’s eyes and have him know.” He wants her family to be confident about their relationship.

JoJo’s concerns about Jordan play like a broken record. She is worried about whether or not he is ready to commit. Where Robby gets a pass because he's been on repeat with ‘I love you,’ Jordan gets a cross-examination. JoJo wants to know what the next year looks like for him, where he’s going to live, where is home going to be. He doesn’t have the answers, and she dings him for it when he says, “I don’t have nor do I need a home base right now.” JoJo doesn’t like “right now.”

He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and her quick response is, “That’s what Ben said, too.” Low blow, JoJo.

Jordan, smooth talker that he is, pulls himself out of the ditch he just drove into with her by saying he can picture her walking down the aisle towards him. That move gets him the fantasy suite key.

JoJo is excited for the alone time with Jordan. She remembers how she felt that first night when she gave him the First Impression Rose.

She’s in deep with these two, and she’s starting to feel the pinch. She’s also starting to have some empathy for Ben. “I think I’m understanding how Ben got there,” she says to the camera.

Photo: Courtesy of Disney/ABC.
Chase’s date is a day at the beach. They laugh and play in the water. It’s like a montage from a Spring Break movie. Jojo remarks that he is extra playful today. “It’s amazing how much joy he brings to me,” she says.

Chase is head over heels. “Everything about her is unstoppable,” he says. For him, this date has it all: a magical place, monkeys, fisherman, saltwater, and fish. Good for you, Chase. You do you.

JoJo doesn’t want the day to end, but she’s still unsure what is going to happen. “Today is huge. But tonight is everything.” But first, there is a knock at the door. While Chase is waxing poetic about how “there is no better time than now,” Robby is popping into JoJo’s room for a quick kiss and a cuddle. Don’t forget; Robby’s in love with JoJo, and he’s got a serious competitive streak. He tells her he’s thinking about her non-stop. He’s ready for their life together. A life that he sums up as, “country clubs and coloring books.” Again, seriously, Robby? JoJo is into it, though. She likes how he is full of surprises.

If this were a disaster movie, which it turns out to be for Chase at this point, this is where the music would start to turn dark and ominous. Chase is clueless about his impending doom. He is aware of the other guys on the horizon, but, damn the torpedoes, he’s not going to be scared anymore. That’s what love is to him, security, and he is going for it.

JoJo gives him a fantasy suite key, too. He tells her that he loves her. He also tells her that he’s never said that to anyone before. “I know the burden that sentence, that phrase, carries. I’m ready to carry that for you.”

This is the moment where it all goes dark for Chase. He said he loves her, and then she excuses herself and goes outside. She just didn’t feel the way she wanted to feel when Chase told her he loved her. She goes back inside and explains that she needed to take a moment. “Why?” he asks.

She tells him she’s not where he is and that they shouldn’t spend the night together. Chase, to no one’s surprise, is not thrilled with this outcome. JoJo stammers out apologies and explanations. He’s not having it. “I jumped over a hurdle that I’ve never done before, and now I’m skewered.” Rough, Chase, but fair point. He said he loved her, and she said to get the hell out.

Chase walks away. JoJo goes after him. He believes that she gave him the fantasy card just to break his heart.

When he gets in the van to be driven away, he’s angry and hurt. This whole thing sucks. “That’s like ‘pull your pants down and let me kick you in the nuts,'” he says. He says he’s embarrassed and heartbroken.

Just like with Luke, JoJo rebounds fast and is ready for the rose ceremony where no one goes home: two roses, two men. Jordan shows up first. He tells Chris Harrison that he can’t wait for the next step. Robby shows up and says, what else, that he loves JoJo because it’s been a whole 10 minutes since he said it on camera.

JoJo explains that she sent Chase home, but, not so fast! Chase appears at the top of the stairs. He wants a minute. Dude is owed a minute. Chase and JoJo step away, and he lets her off the hook for what happened on their date. “I care too much to let our relationship end the way it did the other night.” Chase leaves via the high road, which is actually a steep downward slope. He might not have gotten Jojo, but a monkey follows him as he walks away.

Back to the business at hand. Once again, Jordan gets that first rose. He was hoping for a more one-sided love situation, but, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Robby is in love with JoJo, too.

Speaking of Robby’s love for JoJo, he gets in one last shot. “I’ve found love with JoJo, and I love JoJo.” We get it. We all get it. Anyone else think that Robby might profess too much?

She's thrilled with her choices, but feeling the “cruel, twisted irony” of being in the situation of breaking someone’s heart the way hers was broken by Ben.

And then there were two.

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