Empire Season 2, Episode 16 Recap: "I'm Sorry I Didn't Kill You"

Photo: Courtesy of Fox.
The latest episode of Empire, titled “Lyon Who Cried Wolf,” gave me a little bit of everything. I haven’t gone through this many emotions watching TV since I laughed, cried, and danced my way through Lemonade. But there was no lemonade on Empire, just hot tea! Oh, the emotions — let me count the ways.

I Laughed.
Last week Cookie made the grand announcement, to the surprise of everyone, that the Lyon family would perform together at the ASAs. Now they’re tasked with making good on that promise. Jamal and Hakeem can barely stand to be in the same room with Lucious, and Lucious isn’t trying to give any more shine to Jamal, “the most nominated artist on Empire.” The hate is so real. Between the family not being able to decide what song to sing, whose song to sing, and how they’re going to perform it, it was Cookie calling all of them a “rack of bitches!” that gave me life!
I OMG'd.
Leave it to Empire to deliver a good jaw-dropper, and this one is a biggie. D Major, musical director/producer/head of everything ASA related, seems to be a hard ass when it comes to who hits the stage during his show. And he’s not too keen on Jamal debuting any of his new tracks during the ceremony. He demands the Lyon family sing something they’ve worked on together in the past. But Jamal’s not having it and bursts into D’s recording session, which is apparently a no-no. D clears the studio but instead of throwing a punch, he’s ready to throw some D. The two get hot…very hot, and heavy, much to Jamal’s surprise and pleasure. But the problem is (and you know there’s a problem) D Major is on the DL. At first Jamal is not feeling the down-low life. He’s worked too hard to live his truest self. But I guess D Major’s loving is too good not to at least try the DL life. Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
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Photo: Courtesy of Fox.
I Cried.
Okay, I didn’t cry. But this episode did give me one big warm fuzzy. Through all the fighting and bickering Lucious and the entire Lyon clan have done, they are able to pull it together and deliver “Chasing the Sky,” one of the best collabs since “You’re So Beautiful” in my opinion, for their ASA rehearsal. Surprisingly, Terrence Howard’s singing didn’t even annoy me.
I Gasped.
The jig is almost up for Anika. Rhonda has definitely been taking her Ginkgo biloba because her memory is becoming razor-sharp. Not only does she remember that she was actually pushed down her stairs instead of tripping, but during a gab session with her new “bestie” Anika, Rhonda catches a glimpse at her red-bottom Christian Lub’s and recognizes them as the same ones that walked out of their mansion door, leaving her to die. Rhonda almost chokes on her Chardonnay. When Andre finds out, Anika better hope that Boo Boo Kitties really do have nine lives.
Photo: Courtesy of Fox.
I Side-Eyed.
Cookies' sisters are back. Candace (Vivica A. Fox) is done taking care of Carol’s (Tasha Smith) kids. Carol needs more time to conquer her sobriety. On her quest to becoming whole again, she wants to confess to Cookie the murders (yes, murders) she committed for Lucious while Cookie was locked up. Silly me, here I was thinking she was going to confess to sleeping with Lucious. Candace warns her against coming clean. Little do they know an FBI agent is ear-hustling their entire convo.

I Shrieked.
Particularly because unpredictable people make me nervous, and Lucious’ mother is unpredictable. No really, this episode took a turn for the macabre. Andre drags Leah Walker (Leslie Uggams) back into their lives while Lucious was perfectly happy keeping her locked up and away from him. Now we see why — this seemingly harmless old woman appears to be pure evil, even telling poor Lucious “Dwight Walker” Lyon, “I’m sorry I was too weak to kill you when I had the chance,” all while standing over him wielding a kitchen knife and forcing him to eat cake. At least we finally understand why Lucious is so completely effed up.

Damn.
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