Girls Recap: In “Queen For Two Days,” Relationship Issues Get Real

Well, after last week, there is definitely no small number of loose ends to tie up. At the beginning of this week's episode, Hannah and her mom are in the car together, en route to a retreat. Loreen (Becky Ann Baker) is trying to decide whether or not she wants to actually get divorced from Hannah's dad. Hannah seems to be leaning toward wanting them to split up — and Hannah's mom admits that, for whatever problems that Tad's coming out has created for their marriage, the sex is actually better than ever. Hannah is clearly taken aback and more confused than ever. When they get to the retreat center, Hannah refuses to hand over her cell phone and is just generally unwilling to get on board with the whole atmosphere. But the Horvath ladies meet a bunch of comrades in the lobby: Kathy, Cathy, Barb, and Coco. These ladies will become their clique for the weekend. Everyone is milling around the lobby, waiting for something to happen, when the retreat leader speaks up and sort of berates them for waiting around for something to happen instead of demanding why the retreat they had signed up for hadn't started on time. So, it's going to be one of those weekends.

Back in Japan, Shosh is settling into her recently uprooted life. She is dating Yoshi and has a job at a cat café. She seems pretty stable and happy when Abigail — the American woman who fired her from the gig that brought her to the country earlier on in the season — shows up at the café. She is in town for a couple of days and confesses that she sort of hates being in Tokyo; Shosh enthusiastically volunteers to take this woman around town for the day. They end up spending a lovely afternoon together, getting pedicures and going to the spa. Abigail is impressed by how well-adjusted Shosh seems in Japan and Shosh agrees that being in the country has mellowed her out considerably. As Hannah and Loreen's retreat weekend continues, it becomes clear that Hannah didn't clear the slate with Fran before leaving town: She's relieved to be away from him. Loreen is worried that Hannah and Fran's issues are symptomatic of a larger problem, namely that Hannah doesn't know how to love someone who is kind to her. Hannah assures Loreen that that's not what's happening here and that she and Tad did not fuck up their only child. They go to bed. Retreat day one: down. In the city, Jessa and Adam are mid-thrust, engaged in a bizarre sex fantasy that they're both super into. (I'm pretty sure we're supposed to interpret it as further proof that they are totally on the same page/meant for one another.) Jessa confesses that her half-sister is in town and wants to have dinner together the following night. Before she can even ask if he wants to go, Adam volunteers. She's unconvinced for a moment that he really wants to go, but he assures her that he does. And so, it's a plan.

The next night, Adam joins Jessa and her sister, Minnie, at a restaurant. On the way, Jessa tells Adam that Minnie has slept with all the same people that Jessa has slept with at this point in their lives. (Minnie has also slept with Jessa's biological father; Minnie's dad is a Scotsman.) Jessa also tells Adam that if he wants to sleep with her sister, she would completely understand; Adam thinks all of this is weird nonsense and makes it clear that he doesn't want to have sex with Minnie in the least. We've been seeing a lot of Jessa becoming more vulnerable this season, and this family time is no exception. At dinner, Minnie flirtatiously confesses that she's split up from her husband, but is still receiving plenty of alimony, even though she's the one with more money in the relationship. Things get a little sticky when the subject of wealth comes up: Jessa reminds her sister that their grandmother cut off her access to the family wealth after she went into rehab the last time. Minnie isn't especially sympathetic and when Jessa asks Minnie if she can borrow money to finish her schooling to become a therapist, Minnie says no. She also essentially tells Jessa that she's not a good investment, since she's never stuck to anything. It's a pretty obvious setup for Adam to step in to defend Jessa, but that doesn't keep it from being pretty darned sweet. Adam tells Minnie off for saying mean things about Jessa and emphasizes that he believes in her dream of becoming a therapist. Then, he tells Jessa that he's going to use the money get got from those big pharma commercials he starred in for her to go to school. Problem solved! For now, at least. The next day at the retreat, Hannah and her mom join in a partner yoga workshop and a trust-fall circle. They also get sent to wander around in the woods on their own. Hannah — who is wearing a bathing suit for this nature hike — uses the opportunity to call and check on her dad, who just wants to know if her mom is leaning toward staying together or splitting up. Hannah feels a little torn, especially since both of her parents seem to be wanting to stay together and she's not sure that's the best thing for either of them.

After the hike, Hannah is sitting out on the deck with her phone. A staffer asks her to hand it over, but she resists until another workshop leader comes up and tells the staffer that Hannah can do whatever she wants: It's her weekend. Hannah confesses to this hyper-fit massage therapist that she's having a better time than if she had been home with Fran. Then, the massage therapist hits on Hannah, saying she's "way too luscious to be with the wrong guy." From there, Hannah heads to a dance session where she's really feeling herself. Someone's got her groove back. Hannah and Loreen sit down at dinner with the women from the first day. They all talk about the food and, in the process, reveal that they are serial retreatgoers. During the discussion, Hannah gets up from the table and sneaks into the kitchen to snag some bread. She chances upon the massage therapist, who convinces her to come hang in the sauna and get a personal massage. Cut to: Hannah and this woman doing some aerial yoga in the sauna. Hannah ends up between this woman's legs and they start making out. It continues to amp up, at which point Hannah says she's never had sex with a woman before.

While Hannah's having her sauna hookup, her mom and the gals are discussing their marriages — and how they've all fallen apart. Everyone is super upbeat about being single, but also clearly sort of lonely and afraid to date, especially using online platforms. When Loreen reveals that her husband is gay to the group, they are all envious — the general consensus is that having a gay husband is the best worst thing that could happen as you get older. Back in the sauna, Hannah is going down on the massage therapist, in a sort of tantric bow pose. Hannah isn't enjoying it, but the woman is begging her to keep going, just for another 30 seconds. Hannah is overwhelmed by the heat and what's happening here, so she gets up; while she's putting her clothes on, the teacher masturbates, screaming orgasmically. Then, she starts crying. It is awkward for everyone. After dinner and the exploratory sauna sexing wind down, Hannah and her mom both head back to their shared room. Loreen tells Hannah that she's not going to leave Tad. "I might as well stay," she says. "I know it sounds sad to you. but I like our house and your father's very nice...He plays Scrabble really well. These things count for a lot." But she also admits that had she known that Tad was gay 20 years ago, things might have turned out differently. "I think you guys really did fuck me up," are Hannah's last words on the subject.

On the other side of the world, Abigail and Shosh are finishing up their Tokyo day date. They meet up with Yoshi at a restaurant and Abigail can't stop going on about how cute Yoshi is and how cute he and Shosh are together. Yoshi tells Abigail that he intends to take Shosh to meet his grandmother and that they will then lose their virginities to one another. (Yikes. We're guessing that Shosh decided to keep her sex history a secret.) When he goes to the bathroom, Shosh breaks down to Abigail, confessing that she actually really hates her life these days. She's lonely and sad. She's also really homesick. Before Yoshi returns from the bathroom, Shosh excuses herself and heads out the door. She wanders through the empty, lit up streets of Tokyo, looking a little lost and a lot out of place. (Still playing catch up? We've recapped the first four episodes, too. Gets your Girls on: episode 1, "Wedding Day"; episode 2, "Good Man;" episode 3: "Japan;" and episode 4: "Old Loves.")