But they just went to a whole new level of totally fabricated drama to make the media more obsessed with them than ever. Last week, I broke down the details behind the Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna romance, which started years before the Kardashian empire was close to what it is today.
Today, let's break down all of the ways the whooole crew is throwing sticks in their own fire, and watching the flames go up in smoke. And the smoke signals read, "$$$."
Last Friday, Rob drove to pick up his new official girlfriend, Blac Chyna, from Texas because she got into a drunken situation at Austin International Airport. She was arrested, for public intoxication and possession of a drug. But despite all this, she had time to make a brand-new app! (That is in beta, and somehow already No. 5 on the iTunes App Store.)
Get The App! 📲 TAP the link in their profile @fitgirlsguide to get the beta version 💕💪 FREE! . 💟 This is the Beta version (aka the VERY BEGINNING) of our app. We're letting you in early to the party because we want to build this app together to make it everything you've ever dreamed of for Fit Girl World! . 💟 We'll be sending out a survey very soon asking you what features you want to see in future versions! Again, this is only the very very beginning! IT IS GOING TO BE RIDICULOUSLY EPIC. We are so excited to have taken this very big first step. . 💟 PS: Please leave us an app review in the store if you love it! . 💟 PPS: Yes, an Android app is also in the works! Thanks for your patience. We have to get one thing ready at a time. . Follow @fitgirlsguide Follow @fitgirlsguide
And neither was Kylie. She also had a zing for bro Rob. As we know, Rob is dating Kylie's current (on-and-off) boyfriend Tyga's ex-girlfriend and the mother of his son.
Blac Chyna's mother went on social media, seemingly responding directly to Khloé's tweets, quick to defend her daughter. Tokyo Toni said "no shade," but we all see some being thrown. Yes, that is Khloé's mug shot from her own drunken arrest.
And then, of course, Keeper of the Kardashians Kris had to come into play.
But Kris realized she was wasting a very key opportunity. Rob had conveniently just updated his sock website. Remember that? It's totally fine if you don't. The self-proclaimed "proud mama" is here to show off the newly launched line. Even when she's mad at her son, she's still got to move her pawns around.
Meanwhile, Kanye the Soothsayer was basically predicting the future by saying his current wife, Kim, plays nicely with exes.
But she doesn't seem mad. In fact, he was just on her Kylie Radio show, being "so funny."
Kourtney's on the side, but still prodding the growing fire on Instagram.
But someone seems to be missing. Where's Kendall? Oh, there she is. The most low-key sister, who is just trying to maintain her friendships, and meanwhile avoiding all of the above drama.
At this point, the Kardashians are just messing with us, I think. The drama with this one family is so deeply knotted and complex that, for an entertainment writer, it's almost too good to be true.
It's like going down a rabbit hole full of hair extensions, well-placed relationships, and fake Twitter feuds. And hella self-promotion.
They make themselves too available to us in order to make us never. stop. forgetting. about. them.
The terrifying part? It works.