Man Caught Attempting To Smuggle Turtles In His Pants Pleads Guilty

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A Canadian man caught with his pants full of turtles at the U.S.-Canada border is expected to plead guilty to smuggling, according to The Associated Press.

Kai Xu was arrested last year with 51 snappers hidden in his pants as he attempted to cross the border to Ontario, the AP reports. He appeared in a federal court in Ann Arbor, MI, today and pleaded guilty. As one might expect, there probably aren’t too many convincing excuses for filling your trousers with turtles.

Government officials say smuggling is fairly common. According to authorities, Xu would order the turtles online and then either travel to the U.S. to pick them up or have them shipped directly to China, where the creatures are worth “much more.”

This raises the question: How much would turtles have to be worth for you to be willing to fill your pants with them? The AP reports that authorities seized a package of 300 turtles being shipped to China last fall, which was worth more than $30,000. That's only about $100 a turtle. It hardly seems worth it.

However, even thinking in those terms is a bit of a distraction from the more pertinant issue: Would you buy a turtle if you knew it had just come out of somebody’s pants?