Update: Chris Rock Is Your 2016 Oscars Host

Update: As of October 21, Chris Rock is confirmed as the host of the 2016 Oscars. In a press release, Oscars producers David Hill and Reginald Hudlin announced the news by playing up Rock's status as a utility player in Hollywood. "Chris Rock is truly the MVP of the entertainment industry," Hill and Hudlin said in a joint statement.

The 88th Oscars will air on ABC at 7 p.m. ET on February 28, 2016.

This story was originally published on October 21, 2015, at 1 a.m.

Chris Rock is seemingly coming back to host the Oscars after more than a decade away.

The comedian's last appearance featured a controversial monologue that led an incensed Sean Penn to come to Jude Law’s defense. For those of you who don’t remember — 2005 was literally before Twitter, so why would you? — Rock questioned why Law was in every movie he had seen the past five years. The comedian claimed that even if Law didn’t act in the movie he could be found in the credits for doing something like “making cupcakes.”

We'll be the first to admit that we didn’t remember this right off the bat. And the Academy Awards would like to keep it that way: The official Chris Rock opening monologue is less than half the length of the unedited version. Gone are jokes about Jude Law (against), Passion of the Christ (in favor), and casting non-star actors in starring roles (“If you’re doing a movie about the past, you best to get Russell [Crowe]’s ass!”)

We have to ask the Academy: Why you always lying? Even if this was an Internet world in which we couldn’t find unofficial versions, some people manage to remember things. (Plus, it looks insane when the official YouTube post has wild jump cuts.)

Also, the insistence on cutting repeatedly to seven of the only black people in the house (including Rock) seems like trying a little hard to prove that Hollywood doesn’t have a diversity problem. We wonder what Effie Brown would have to say about that.

So, with that in mind, here are some of the topics that might get edited out of the “official” version of Chris Rock’s 2016 monologue.

Black Lives Matter: Rock hasn’t shied away from police brutality as a source of comedy, particularly in his “How Not To Get Your Ass Beat By Cops” sketch for The Chris Rock Show. Will he shy away from this year’s hot-button issue?

Project Greenlight: We wonder if Rock will have anything to say about Matt Damon talking over Effie Brown, the only black woman in the room during a preliminary meeting. Or about Peter Farrelly flat-out refusing to work with her. Probably not.

Superhero Movies:
Ta-Nehisi Coates writing Black Panther is great, but for the dominant blockbuster form to be so whitewashed outside of a few exceptions (Anthony Mackie, Zoe Saldana, and Michael B. Jordan to name a few) is almost inexcusable.

Here's the official Oscars version:
And the unofficial upload:

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