We're All In This Insane Fan Theory Combining High School Musical & The Purge Together

Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
I've made no secret of the fact that I love the High School Musical trilogy here. There are reasons I enjoy the movies beyond the obvious "talented actors doing intricately choreographed song and dance routines filmed and executed perfectly" ones, though. I also like HSM because, like most live-action Disney productions aimed at tweens, it captures an almost uncanny, completely unrealistic version of high school, where the hardest decisions teens struggle to make are whether or not they should play basketball and be in the school play or just stick to the status quo. No one in the world of HSM ever has sex, drinks, or does drugs (or even mentions any of the three). Nothing violent ever happens. It's all just good, clean, innocent fun. Obviously, this version of high school does not exist.

Now, most people would just chalk that up to the smoothed-over, innocent version of adolescence Disney has been peddling since the days of Annette Funicello. One clever Redditor, however, wanted a better explanation for why sex, drugs, and violence don't seem to exist in the High School Musical universe. Yesterday, user SkyWasTheRobot put forth a complex theory that's so batshit wonderful we simply must bring it to you here. Ready? You should probably sit down for this.

According to SkyWasTheRobot, the High School Musical movies only appear to exist in the same society that you and I do, namely one that follows the social contract Thomas Hobbes puts forth in Leviathan — you know, thou shalt not murder and all that. In reality, SkyWasTheRobot argues, "[HSM] exists in an alternate history or reality where the social contract and subsequent legal system did not come into existence, so people are allowed to do whatever they like whenever they like. So it's kinda like The Purge (2013), except with more basketball and better story."

Is there evidence to support this conclusion?, you're probably wondering right now. But of course. "Just look at the entire fucking trilogy," SkyWasTheRobot writes. "Our characters — including the characters we're meant to be rooting for — repeatedly commit actions that would have resulted in legal consequences had they been done in our world. At the beginning of the second movie, our heroes completely trash their school out of excitement for summer vacation. Nobody questions it or argues against it. Imagine how pissed off the janitor or principal must have been, but the characters don't even get a detention or have to clear up after themselves."

SkyWasTheRobot also cites the numerous health code violations committed when the Wildcats work in the kitchen at Lava Springs Country Club in High School Musical 2 (2007), Ms. Darbus impersonating Troy (Zac Efron) and submitting a Juilliard application in his name ("In the real world, that's called fucking forgery."), and when Troy and Chad (Corbin Bleu) steal two younger students' clothes, forcing them to run around school naked.

Basically, High School Musical is only innocent on the surface. Underneath all the smiles and polished choreography, there's a lot of nefarious, underhanded, social-contract-violating things happening in what's essentially a lawless society. Everyone appears to be all hunky dory right now, but that's only because they're all on "mass LSD trips," SkyWasTheRobot asserts. How else do you explain Troy and Chad reverting back to their 9-year-old selves in the midst of a song in the junkyard?

So even though they claim that "We're all in this together," don't let the Wildcats at East High School fool you. The day the annual Purge arrives, it's going to be every person for him or herself. Troy already has the perfect song for it, though. (Reddit)

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