Something Strange Is Happening To Our Peanut Butter

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Today, we’ve officially reached the peak of an overly stimulated, overly rushed society. Why? Because we now have caffeinated peanut butter. The new product from STEEM has been gaining popularity and is now available in stores in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Connecticut, as well as online. I can’t decide if this is the best thing ever or if I am sad. On the one hand, I love that two of my favorite things have been combined. On the other hand, as Cosmo points out, does no one have time just to sit down and enjoy a peanut butter sandwich and a coffee anymore?

Also, this stuff is potent: Just two tablespoons of STEEM peanut butter is the equivalent of two cups of coffee. Does that seem a little intense to you? It might be worth stocking two different kinds of peanut butter in your pantry from now on: one for all-nighters and one for simple snacking.

Weirdly, this reminds me of this time that I saw Jerry Seinfeld doing live stand-up and he pointed out that those 5-Hour Energy shots are totally weird (they are). “Five hours is a weird amount of time," he said. "If you want five hours of energy, take a nap!” If you want the instant equivalent to two cups of coffee, maybe just have a double espresso?

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