This week saw announcements from both Stephen Colbert and Snoop Dogg that they will launch men's lifestyle websites. (Though, Colbert's was in jest.) Gwyneth Paltrow and the team at Goop took it upon themselves to offer these gentlemen their advice on the matter, with a wink and a smile.
There are so many hilarious, self-effacing lines in the piece that we hardly know how to pick a favorite. The introduction, which welcomes "a sausage or two to this clam bake," lands a snort laugh and it only gets better from there.
The first (and very sage) piece of advice is to "pull it together at all costs." The opening salvo here, "It’s said that we here at Goop subsist solely on seaweed, air, and Tracy Anderson DVDs," nearly has our eyes popping out of our head. It ends with the suggestion of trying Spanx for men.
From there, Goop goes on to suggest they attach themselves to "obscure trends" and "[i]f something is expensive, front like you own it." So basically, taking aim at the criticisms often leveled at Goop and telling the new boys on the block how they shrug it off. Amazing, all the gold stars to Goop today for self-awareness!
Finally, and in a dig to most of the rest of the world, Goop suggests they embrace their "babymaker" because "[e]veryone goes WILD for content about genitals" and somehow this ends with the suggestion that their men's lifestyle sites should embrace anal bleaching.
If Goop is continues to be this funny, we're renewing our email subscription.