Your Horoscope For This Week — Jun 07 2015

Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
You said potato; they heard “potahhhto.” Ummmm…WTH! Raise your hand if you’re tired of all the scrambled signals going around. With communication planet Mercury in retrograde since May 18, life has had #ComedyOfErrors written all over it. Trying to concentrate in the Mercury-induced brainfog hasn’t been fun either. Well, stargazers, here’s some good news: the retrograde ends this Thursday, restoring order to our cosmic court. Time to stop squabbling and hug it out. Plus, it will be a lot safer to sign contracts, book vacations, update gadgetry, and test drive a new set of wheels (i.e., all the things that seem to get screwy when Mercury's in reverse).

On Sunday, taskmaster Saturn slips back into Scorpio until September 17, forcing us to deal with our “shadow sides” and the secrets we’ve locked in the vault. Saturn has already been in Scorpio from October 6, 2012 until this past December 23 — so the next three months are an encore performance, applause or no applause. Saturn will teach us to be more serious about Scorpio issues, like, uh sex, drugs, intimacy, and binding agreements. We’ve gotta be careful about who we get into bed with this summer — literally and metaphorically — because the relationships we form now won’t be easy to get out of. With the right partners, Saturn in Scorpio paves the way for transcendent twosomes. Take it higher, loves!