This Couple Died Spooning Before There Were Even Spoons

In case you needed another excuse to indulge in some cuddling, remember that it's a time-honored tradition — as in really, really old. The Greek Ministry of Culture, Education, and Religious Affairs recently announced that archaeologists at Greece's Alepotrypa Cave, a massive burial site, have unearthed an ancient couple buried in a spooning position some 5,800 years ago. The arms of an adult male skeleton are folded over an adult female skeleton, and the skeletons' legs are intertwined in the oldest hug on record. The idea of an eternal hug is lovely, especially considering that the late-Neolithic pair was discovered among the debris of some serious carnage. National Geographic reports that 31% of the skeletons interred in Alepotrypa Cave in the same period as the spooners were on the receiving end of "blunt cranial trauma" likely delivered by "rocks, stones, or clubs" as part of a violent and ongoing struggle for resources. Greek archaeologist Anastasia Papathanasiou estimates that the skeleton couple either died while embracing or were arranged in that position not long after their deaths. "It's a very natural hug," she told National Geographic. "It doesn't look like they were arranged in this posture at a much later date." We're somehow heartened that they found each other in the midst of all that head-bashing. Our own dating complaints have never seemed so trivial.