Sure, it'd be great to get an invite to the Oscars
, but, when all is said and done, we're fine watching it on TV. What we'd really
like to hit up, though, are the after-parties. Just imagine: All your favorite celebrities getting tipsy on Champagne and spiked coconut water, palming Oscars, and taking selfies.
The rules are simple: Anybody famous can come (hey, Miley). Schmoozing is mandatory. Women should change from their confining gowns into confining cocktail dresses. Winners must bring their Oscars, even if their hands get sweaty and they'd rather keep 'em safe in the hotel vault. If a date is unavailable, a parent or celebrity bestie will suffice. Have fun, but not so much fun that it winds up in the gossip columns the next morning.
Click through to see what you missed last night...