Christina Aguilera, Brad Pitt & Katie Holmes Are Actually The Same Person

We're going to need a bigger birthday cake. We're not quite sure just what's in the water in mid-March, but today happens to be the 51st, 36th, and 34th birthdays of Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Christina Aguilera, respectively. Everybody make a wish.
At first glance, these birthday triplets don't seem to have much in common beyond a birthday and a charismatic Sagittarian personality. One's a singer, two are actors. Two were child stars, one started out a bit later. Two of them spent a lot of time with Tom Cruise, and one sang a song for his second ex-wife's film.
Then again, perhaps there's more to it. Dig a little deeper and commonalities pop up. Come to think of it, have you seen any of these people in the same room together? Is it possible that they're the same person?
No, of course not. Let's at least investigate anyway.

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