This Monkey Makes More Than You & Other Truths About Hollywood Salaries

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 5.13.24 PMPhoto: REX USA/Stewart Cook.
Do you have dreams of quitting your job, piling up all your belongings into your beaten-up Corolla, and setting off for La La Land with the hopes of making it in showbiz? Well, The Hollywood Reporter published a comprehensive look at Hollywood's salary landscape that might make you rethink things. Here's everything you need to know about who makes what in Tinseltown.
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The majority of SAG members take home less than $1,000 a year from acting jobs. Sure, becoming a movie star is lucrative, but so is winning the lottery, and you have a better chance at the latter. The majority of working actors in Hollywood must subsidize their income with other pursuits. Let's just say L.A. won't be experiencing a bartender drought any time soon.
Agents make 500 times more a year than their assistants. The average agent's assistant makes between $10-$13 an hour, while top tier agents can make upwards of $10 million a year. If our math is correct, there are approximately 2,000 work hours in a year. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.
There are two classes of wig makers. A class 1 wig maker makes $59,000 a year, while a class 2 wig maker makes $69,000 a year. We don't want to nitpick, but shouldn't the person who made Effie Trinket's wig be in, like, class 100? Just a thought.
Some human beings earn half as much as dogs. Dogs and cats earn up to $400 for a day on set, while extras earn $148 for a days work (with an extra $50 if a hairpiece is required.) But, none of them compare to Crystal the Monkey (above), who earned a whopping $108,000 in 2012 for just nine episodes of Animal Practice. That's a lot of bananas.
VFX artists apparently aren't really part of Hollywood. Once again, the many men and women responsible for making you "ooh" and "ahh" have been slighted. Everyone from fire safety advisers to gardeners are acknowledged in the report, but not visual effects artists, who've been known to protest their place on Hollywood's food chain. Maybe they'll just make the author of this article just disappear. (The Hollywood Reporter)
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