America, it's time for an autumnal intervention. Yes, fall is coming, and, yes, fall rules — but you know what doesn't
rule? Having the brute fist of capitalism swing its way through the last glimmers of summer, that's what.
Seriously, we have reached peak pumpkin spice. It's 75 degrees in NYC right now, so let's reel this whole autumn thing in. The crisp weather flavor has gone beyond the latte and pie and laced itself into classic recipes like Oreos, M&M's
, coconut milk
, and vodka
. There was even a rumor that man's own meat and potatoes
(read: pumpkin spice condoms) could be enhanced with a little bit of fall.
Luckily, autumn hasn't gone that
far, but who's to say it won't? If fettuccine
can be pumpkin spiced, why can't, say, Gatorade? Or fish sticks? Or the #PumpkinSpiceBucketChallenge? Actually, don't answer that because fall will officially have lost all meaning if the following six items ever
Illustrated by Anna Sudit