If none of those are ringing a bell, you probably still know Megan Amram — or, you know of @meganamram. With over 430K followers hanging on her every deranged, dark, and so-wrong-it's-right joke, Amram is a bona fide Twitter success story. I hear you tittering at the phrase "Twitter success story," by the way. And, I'm here to tell you to hush up. Before I delve into why, please enjoy a few morsels o' Megan wit.
This glue dries so fast it must be Seabiscuit!— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 5, 2012
The sexiest part about me is my vagina. The least sexy part about me is my other vagina.— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 22, 2012
The three most important things about surreal estate: melting clocks, melting clocks, melting clocks!— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 8, 2014
And, of course, my favorite of all time:
Every walk is a walk of shame when you're a Jew— Megan Amram (@meganamram) November 2, 2011
Her humor isn't for everyone, I know. Every time I send one of Amram's tweets to a certain friend, she replies, "I just don't see it, Lauren." Many of Megan's jokes could be construed as anti-Semitic had they been made by a non-Jew. As someone who's basically one continent removed from being of the shtetl born, however, they hit exactly the right notes about my own formative experience.
What amazes me most about Megan Amram, though, is that she's just freaking doing it. Like many people whose job is writing about entertainment, I harbor a nascent desire to write for television. Specifically, the show Parks and Recreation. And, like many of my comrades in digital ink, I remain on the East Coast, writing about the show instead of for it.
You know who didn’t do that? Megan Amram.
She didn't need one. All she needed was the right technology to transmit her signature brand of humor to the world, and everything fell into place from there. She joined Twitter shortly before graduating from college, and by the time she arrived in Los Angeles, her 140-character bursts of brilliance had caught the attention of a comedian who needed someone to write jokes for the Oscars. Not a bad first gig.
Her work on the Oscars led to a full-time writing position for Disney Channel's Ant Farm, a somewhat odd fit for someone who makes jokes like, "I'm having an amazing day!! I feel like I got assigned to the front of a human centipede!!" Her "work" (read: tweets) was soon recommended to Mike Schur, creator of Parks and Recreation, and the rest is history. "Megan Amram was hired here because of her Twitter feed," Schur told Splitsider. #dreams
So yeah, Megan Amram is a certified Twitter hero. In addition to writing for Parks and Recreation, she's also worked on the hilarious Kroll Show. Her first book is coming out this fall. Called Science...for Her!, it's written in the vein of a faux expert breaking down complicated topics as if for a particular women's magazine. You know which one I'm talking about.
I feel as though I should bring this ode to an end now, lest Amram ever discover it and think to herself, "Who is this weirdo with a massive girl crush on my career? Is she going to Single White Female me? Should I be googling name-change forms or how to enter the Witness Protection Program?"
Those are all great questions, imaginary Megan with whom I'm conversing. You should do neither of those things because this was written out of respect for your amazing sense of humor, and not a creepy desire to make skin suits. It got weird when I brought up skin suits though, right? I just want to be your friend and/or writing partner; I swear.
In conclusion, please forget everything you just read and watch this awesome commercial Megan wrote for yogurt with birth control on the bottom.