Brooklyn's Newest Juice Bar Provokes Controversy

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Mike-GartenPhotography by Mike Garten.
All this time, the Ten Commandments have apparently been missing one very important principle: Thou shalt juice. At least, that's what The Squeeze — the wildly popular Union Square food truck, which just opened a brick-and-mortar location in Williamsburg — is preaching on its website.

According to its "Truth Bombs" section, "Fasting, God said, facilitates this Divine freedom. 'Your light will break forth like morning...' and your 'healing shall spring forth speedily.' Your fast, God declared, will even right your relationship with Him! So that He can go before you, and the glory, His goodness, will be your guardian. Get your insides mop 'nglo. Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Even though she sincerely points to "fasting and dietary restrictions" as integral to not just Christianity, but Hinduism, Judaism, and Buddhism, as well, the company's owner, Karliin Brooks, clearly has a bawdy sense of humor. The Squeeze's tagline is "simply RAWnchy," and menu items include a pineapple, swiss chard, and kale concoction named "I Have a Heart-On."

"I don’t follow any religion," Brooks told Bedford + Bowery. "I have my own custom belief system... I found that there was so much compelling information from so many different religions and cultures and philosophies. For example, Socrates — before he would go on a vision quest — would fast for 40 days."

Brooks translates that "custom belief system" in the most amusing way; other cold-press juices include "The Jeans I Wore in High School" and "My Plastic Surgeon Got Laid Off... By Me!" There's a "Squeeze My Pink Lemonade" elixir, a "What Makes a Coconut Shake?", and "My Big Fat-Ass Greek Salad."

The names are good, and hey, if Socrates approves, well, who are we to question?