Brooklyn's Newest Juice Bar Provokes Controversy

Mike-GartenPhotography by Mike Garten.
All this time, the Ten Commandments have apparently been missing one very important principle: Thou shalt juice. At least, that's what The Squeeze — the wildly popular Union Square food truck, which just opened a brick-and-mortar location in Williamsburg — is preaching on its website.
Advertisement
According to its "Truth Bombs" section, "Fasting, God said, facilitates this Divine freedom. 'Your light will break forth like morning...' and your 'healing shall spring forth speedily.' Your fast, God declared, will even right your relationship with Him! So that He can go before you, and the glory, His goodness, will be your guardian. Get your insides mop 'nglo. Cleanliness is next to Godliness."
Even though she sincerely points to "fasting and dietary restrictions" as integral to not just Christianity, but Hinduism, Judaism, and Buddhism, as well, the company's owner, Karliin Brooks, clearly has a bawdy sense of humor. The Squeeze's tagline is "simply RAWnchy," and menu items include a pineapple, swiss chard, and kale concoction named "I Have a Heart-On."
"I don’t follow any religion," Brooks told Bedford + Bowery. "I have my own custom belief system... I found that there was so much compelling information from so many different religions and cultures and philosophies. For example, Socrates — before he would go on a vision quest — would fast for 40 days."
Brooks translates that "custom belief system" in the most amusing way; other cold-press juices include "The Jeans I Wore in High School" and "My Plastic Surgeon Got Laid Off... By Me!" There's a "Squeeze My Pink Lemonade" elixir, a "What Makes a Coconut Shake?", and "My Big Fat-Ass Greek Salad."
The names are good, and hey, if Socrates approves, well, who are we to question?
Advertisement

More from New York

It’s called the city that never sleeps for a reason. On any night of the week, New Yorkers are enjoying a cocktail, a dance party, a special meal, a ...
This may be news to you, but living in New York is kind of expensive. But, while it may always be the land of $17 cocktails and unmentionable rents, the ...
We won't call this list definitive, because rooftops are, after all, all about spontaneity. And, with three summer months to get your toes wet (literally ...
Just because you aren't wearing "short-shorts" doesn't mean your dress qualifies as office-and-everywhere appropriate. In fact, a short dress can be more ...
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to eat roasted guinea pig in Flushing, Queens. Oh, is that not how the Statue of Liberty poem ...
The West Village may get all the attention as the fancy foodie haven of New York City, but that’s just fine for the East Village. All that means is that ...
Appetizers are nice and entrées are essential, but we adore dessert. For real — we feel about ice cream and cookies and brownies the way Liz Lemon feels ...
(Paid Content) When a movie like Disney's Queen of Katwe comes out, you know award season is upon us. The inspiring new film has all the makings of an ...
The only thing more depressing than the end of summer is the number of days between now and the next long weekend. We know: All you want is to sit by a ...
The Lower East Side may be best known to you as the home of rowdy, rollicking nightlife, but that adventure extends to the food scene as well. Restaurants ...
Is there anything better on a Saturday afternoon than a spicy Bloody Mary and some simple — but delicious — bacon and eggs? Didn't think so. Brunch is the ...
You've probably heard about how gritty Soho was back in the '70s and '80s, when artists flocked to the downtown 'hood in search of affordable living and ...
As New Yorkers, we take our pizza seriously. Whether you prefer thin-crust or deep-dish, extra sauce or more cheese, simple-and-plain or loaded with ...
Bars are as bountiful as Starbucks in New York City, but there are a few that raise their drinks — and their dishes — to an art form. So don’t just settle ...