"Sad Full House" Will Give You All The Feels

Larry David had one main rule for Seinfeld: There would be no hugging and no learning. Full House, on the other hand, is a show where touchy-feely teaching moments are paramount to its very being. Back when it was one of my favorite shows in the '90s, I wondered why my parental heart-to-hearts weren't also scored by moving, incidental saxophone music. It would have made getting punished a lot easier that time my brother and I DIY'ed a Slip 'N' Slide and accidentally tore up the grass.
The theme song for Full House promises that "everywhere you look, there's a heart, a hand to hold onto." You're going to need both of those things after you watch "Sad Full House." YouTube user BenjaminApple has been posting videos in which he removes all of the happiness, levity, and jokes from the Tanner family's most poignant moments.
What's left is a brief intro, which is the most depressing lyric in the theme, "When you're lost out there, and you're all alone." It's followed by a clip in which a light is most definitely not waiting to carry you home. Everywhere you look, the world is harsh and full of pain. We're all just on a slow march toward death. It's about time Michelle, Stephanie, and D.J. realize that.
P.S. Happy Friday! (Crushable)

More from Movies

In the upcoming indie sci-fi flick Crossbreed, Vivica A. Fox will play a president who sends war veterans on a mission to retrieve an alien whose DNA is ...
Have you ever re-watched an old movie and cringed? Maybe you were watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and Mickey Rooney's overtly racist Asian stereotype ...
A few months ago, I found myself riveted by an appearance Melissa Harris-Perry made on Real Time With Bill Maher. Harris-Perry had recently left her show...
The 1960s never seemed creepier than in Rose McGowan’s haunting short film, Dawn (2014). McGowan, whose long acting résumé includes roles on TV megahits ...
The miracle and the curse of Netflix are one and the same: There is so much damn stuff to watch. In fact, if you're not sure exactly what you're looking ...
As if winning an Oscar wasn't enough, actress Lupita Nyong'o just proved that she has another talent under her belt: freestyle rapping. The 33-year-old ...
There are few movies that just beg to be parodied more than Fifty Shades of Grey. But High School Musical comes pretty darn close. In case you haven't ...
This month, many 15-year-olds are just getting in the back-to-school swing of things. But Auli'i Cravalho's schedule is a little bit different: The teen ...
Growing up is hard to do. Before "adulting" — that is, clumsily impersonating our role models and pretending we have our lives together — became a buzzword...
Every once in a while, a documentary comes out and changes the world. For 2016, 13th is destined to do just that. A film from notable director, ...
For women, Star Wars costumes used to mean one thing: Princess Leia. There were variations within the theme — Danish side-bun Leia, Hoth Leia, gold-bikini-...
As long as Harry Potter fans keep rewatching the beloved movies, they'll keep finding new reasons the series will make you cry. The latest discovery? Harry...
The documentary world can be overwhelming. Think of a topic — broad or obscure — and very likely a movie has probably been made about it. Biographies, ...
Luna Lovegood is one of the most memorable characters from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. Later, the eccentric character was brought to life by the ...