Jenny Slate Has Some Great “Unqualified Advice” For You

"My name is Jenny, I'm 32, and I don't go to school. I'm not a virge, I'm super-cool...could I get into your dance?"

And that, friends, is how Jenny Slate would ask someone to homecoming. The Obvious Child star shared her hilarious but ultimately useless life lessons during an "Unqualified Advice" video for the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Hopefully, no impressionable teens were watching.

Keen to take up cooking? Our life coach says to blow it off and just go to a restaurant. Anxious about what to talk about on a first date? Just "cut to the chase" and chat about "doing it" and "making love." (That last one probably only works if you met on Tinder, by the way.)

Okay, so the advice itself is pretty crap. Still, it's certainly more entertaining than what you'll find in the self-help section — even if it does mean carrying a slice of pizza in your purse as a ploy to make friends.