The Expendables 3 comes out on August 15. That statement probably didn't send you rushing to Fandango to buy your ticket, right? Same here. Every time a new one of these macho-power-team-saves-the-world movies comes out, the same question circulates through R29 headquarters: Why isn't there a female version? (The Expendabelles, if you will.)
It seems our question for the ages (and the Hollywood sages) was finally heard. The Asylum, the "mockbuster" studio behind such lawsuit-instigators as Snakes on a Train, will release Mercenaries in theaters and on-demand August 8. And, the plot summary is straight-up Expendables meets Orange Is the New Black: "A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandos is assembled to infiltrate a women's prison for a daring rescue."
You know what? We'll take it. It's about time that a team of tough-as-nails females banded together for some quality ass-kickery. The film stars Zöe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Cynthia Rothrock, Brigitte Nielsen, Nicole Bilderback, and Vivica A. Fox, fresh from her victory over a sharknado.
While Mercenaries is one small step forward for action-womankind, our dream of Expendabelles is still alive and well. Mostly so we never have to hear lines like, "So what's the plan?" "We go PMS from hell on this place," ever, ever again.