Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Cries After Sex

Sometimes, tabloids give us gifts. Maybe it's because we were extra good this week, or maybe Star Magazine knew that the writer of this post had a decidedly not-sex-related dream about Ryan Gosling the other night (so weak, subconscious...work on that). Either way, this is a gift-wrapped news item that will provide you with conversation fodder — and some quality Divinyls-esque me-time inspiration, if you catch our drift.

Are you ready to read about what it's like to sleep with Ryan Gosling? Did you just shout "Eff yes!" at your desk? Great, here we go.

According to a woman who claims to have had sex with Ryan Gosling, "He was the best lover [she's] ever had." We actually didn't need a tabloid report to tell us that. We thought it was just one of life's universal truths that's accepted by everyone on the planet.

Per Defamer, the "curvy blonde" told Star that she "shared a night of passion" with the Internet's collective crush after meeting him in a club. The "lovemaking" was allegedly off-the-charts euphoric, but it's what happened afterward, in the couple's post-coital bliss, that really takes this anonymous source's report from "hungry-for-fame claim" to "please, oh please, let this be true."

"I thought I heard him sniffling," Ryan's paramour told Star. "Then, I realized he had tears gushing down his face. I asked if he was all right, and he said he gets emotional sometimes."

We get emotional sometimes, too, Ryan. Maybe we should get together and see just how many feelings we can make each other feel. (Defamer)

If this news item wasn't enough to rocket the first day of August into the stratosphere for you, please enjoy these other Internet gifts. Happy Friday to us all.