It seemed like Gwyneth Paltrow was headed for a very on-brand divorce this past March when she wrote a breakup letter to fans (a whole new kind of breakup letter, we might add). She said that, like a terrible gluten-free scone, her relationship with Chris Martin lost its binding agent and had become dry and heavy. It had a weird texture. And, they were both like, "What's the point? If we can't have the real thing, we don't want it anymore."
Paltrow actually said none of that, but she did say they were going to "consciously uncouple," and that's pretty much the same thing. But, if rumors swirling around the Hamptons this past week are true, the couple is trying their hand at conspicuously recoupling.
They've been spotted eating out (enjoying both pizza and "sea to table") and shopping with their children, Apple and Moses. While it could very well be true that they're just vacationing together for the kids, witnesses would disagree. "They were operating like a couple, and, with the kids, looked like a happy family," said an anonymous witness, who we like to think was a passing seagull.
Her beach snacks, the seagull added, were terrible, "Ugh, just kale chips," it said, before diving toward a discarded hot dog. (Perez Hilton)