Are You “Settling” In Love?

Should I stay or should I go? It’s a line from a Clash song, but it may also be a question you’ve asked yourself — or are asking yourself now — about your relationship. Some say that as soon as you’re wondering whether to break it off, you should. And, of course, if your relationship is no longer right for you, it’s time to move on.

But, sometimes, it’s not black-and-white, and a simple gut check won’t do. Our friends at Shape have put together a list of tips to help you do a relationship check-in (or check-up depending how you see it). Maybe you’ve found yourself with someone who doesn’t fit your preconceived notion of a perfect partner, isn’t your type, or is different from other characters in your love-life history. When that happens, it’s understandable to worry about whether you’re settling, or spending too much time on the wrong one. But, a relationship with someone who veers from your expectations isn’t in itself a negative thing.

To avoid settling, Shape recommends you do a fear-check: Are you staying with someone not to enrich your life, but rather to avoid being alone? Another tip: In the honeymoon phase at the beginning of a relationship, think carefully before making long-term commitments — it can be wise to wait a few months before planning for the far future, leaving you with more flexibility to make the decisions that are right for you after the hormones have settled. Click through for the full list of relationship insights. (Shape)