Your Horoscope For This Week — Jul 13 2014

Illustrated By Emily Forgot.
It’s showtime, stargazers. Bold, risk-taking Jupiter is switching signs for the first time since last June. As of this Wednesday, July 16, the red-spotted planet will be cruising through Leo’s realm, making us all feel like royals until August 2015. Let’s see those jazz hands; the coast is clear for over-the-top self-expression, wildly original style dares, and shameless self-promotion. And, (diva alert) the return of the celebutante is upon us. Oh, Paris Hilton, who shall your successor be? We’ll find out soon.