Breaking: Tiger Selfies Banned In NY, Bros Suddenly Less Sexy

2Photo: Courtesy of Tumblr.
Tinder users were shocked today at the announcement of a new bill banning tiger selfies in New York. Manhattan Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal proposed the legislation that would make it illegal for people to pose with tigers at the circus and county fairs. "They can still pose with bears and monkeys. They just have to take big cats off their list," Rosenthal told The New York Post in a clarifying statement. Though tiger selfies have garnered considerable backlash on the dating app, the bro community defends the art form as a way to pique female interest.
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Not all Tinder users are disappointed with the new development, however. "To me, these boys (note: not men) are desperate for attention. It's sad they're relying on an exotic animal to make their lives seem more awesome than they really are," said Elliot, a 23-year-old male Tinder user, who is definitely not a member of PETA. "If it helps these men grow a pair, then yes, I support this bill."
Female Tinderers have also voiced their support for the legislation, dubbing tiger pictures misleading. "It's weird. I went out with a guy who I saw in a picture with a tiger, and I thought, 'Now there's a guy I could really settle down with.' But, when I met him, I just thought, 'How did this man even get dressed today?' You know?" said Emily, 31. "We've been waiting a long time for someone to get rid of this trend. We wanna see who our matches really are. Who is the man behind the tiger?"
Dan, whose Tinder profile features several of the now-banned images, is concerned about how this will affect his dating life. "You know how sometimes girls will wear a really flattering top or their favorite lipstick to feel more confident? That's basically what my tiger selfie's done for me. Without it, I feel naked," he explained in a completely fictional interview.
For now, it appears tiger selfies — and the completely eligible bachelors behind them — are the new endangered species.
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