First, you should adopt his gait, as to avoid miscellaneous toe markings. "Think McConaughey meets the guy you wish you were who walks out of Citi Bank HQ on a casual Friday," he writes. You should also go places he would go, as to familiarize the flip-flops with their new terrain. He recommends Tiny's and the Frying Pan — and don't even think about bringing them to Brooklyn.
To apply, simply send references of other footwear you've worn. Though not specified, it also appears you'll be expected to double up on polo shirts. "Payment negotiable, but you need to be able to accept a credit card cause I want Starwood points for my Amex. Out."
Can somebody find out who this guy is? Because if this posting is a joke, I'm pretty sure I'm in love. (Craigslist)