World Cup Winner Will Be Predicted By Pandas

pandaembedPhoto: REX USA/VIEW CHINA PHOTO.
Despite scientific evidence that the very notion of psychic powers is predatory nonsense, and that the animal world probably could not give less of a crap about which group of humans more successfully knocks a thing into a thing, the Wall Street Journal reports today that a small bear will predict the winner of the FIFA World Cup in Brazil next week. Aw.
Piggybacking on the runaway success of Paul the Octopus and his alleged predictions for the 2010 World Cup, a giant panda conservation center in Sichuan announced that a panda cub will predict the results of the soccer tournament, according to the paper.
The South China Morning Post, however, reports there's not just one, but a whole litter of cubs involved. The English version of the People's Daily calls it a "crack team" that will "select winners by climbing trees marked with the national flags of competing nations or [by letting] two pandas wearing the vests of two competing nations run a race to predict the winner."
One panda, five pandas — who knows? In any case, the Journal notes that no bears have been confirmed yet as soccer oracles. "It is unclear if the panda has responded to the invitation, but reports suggest the cub will predict the outcome of matches either by picking food marked with a certain national flag or by climbing a tree flying a flag."
Paul the Octopus and Citta, a purportedly clairvoyant Indian elephant, have similarly scried the future in their feed. (WSJ)

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