Normally, Sunday evenings are a no-fly zone for me. It's TV's best night, and as an entertainment writer, it's my solemnly sworn duty to keep up with the zeitgeist. Last night, I failed that duty. And, today, I'm paying the price. While most people have the good sense not to spoil a major television event, today the Internet feels like a minefield that requires stealth navigation.
After years of avoiding spoilers, I've become something of an expert at what I like to call "selective surfing." I actually use my hand to cover parts of the screen that might contain potential spoilers, blurring my eyes to avoid certain headlines, and using a Twitter scroll technique that would take some of you months to master. (DM me for a private lesson.) Still, even with my impressive arsenal of spoiler-dodging tactics, not even I was immune to the chorus of fans, bloggers, and recappers who just had to talk about last night's events.
Upon opening my laptop this morning, I saw King Joffrey's face and name everywhere. Emails from my editors also contained his name, as well as Jack Gleeson, the actor who plays him. Obviously, something major went down in Westeros last night, and the sadistic boy king was at the center of it. My guess is he was likely killed off, because it's Game of Thrones, and that's what they do.
Now, I find myself at an airport, relishing the two-hour flight I'm about to take, before settling in tonight to watch the episode myself. For the next two hours, I'll be Internet free. My phone will be off, my computer will be closed, and I plan on reading a book. It's going to be blissful. In the era of live-tweeting, recapping, and GIF-ing, it seems the only way to avoid spoilers in this day and age is to unplug altogether.
I just hope the person sitting next to me isn't a Game of Thrones fan.