As if the Kimye Vogue cover weren't weird enough, today, Buzzfeed's Katherine Miller made a shocking discovery that will change everything we know about the universe, physics, and fame. Miller tweeted a photo from the Vogue spread that shows Kanye and Kim taking selfies of each other — obviously some kind of commentary on reality television, fame, and the #worldsmosttalkedaboutcouple — in front of a mirror. And, yet, it's not the message that truly stands out here. It's the fact that Kanye is not present in the mirror.
Unsettling, some might say. In the interest of solving this most mysterious of mysteries (so mysterious that it is
bound 2 bound to one day end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries), we have come up with 10 potential theories to describe this unprecedented event.
Kanye is a vampire. Perhaps a little too obvious; yet, it would make sense. He does sometimes have a certain bloodlust in his eyes.
Kanye is a ghost. In reality, he's been dead for over 200 years, and originally lived as the captain of a leather-pants-wearing band of pirates whose chief source of income was seeking out remote tribal communities, pretending to be gods, and demanding tributes.
Illuminati. Somehow, they did this.
Kim and Nori together are so famous that the weight of their fame quite literally forced Kanye out of existence. No easy feat, because he is pretty famous himself, and yet, the charming chubbiness of North's limbs is such that she might just have the power to do such a thing.
It's just a weird angle. This is the least fun option, but honestly, we've spent a lot of time looking and visualizing this picture and it really seems like he should be in there.
It's performance art. In promotion for his upcoming group art show with Shia Labeouf, Kanye actually hacked the Vogue servers and edited himself out of the mirror the night before they sent the issue to print in order to make some kind of subtle announcement about his impending exit from the public eye.
Kim actually is Kanye. It's been said before that he completely made her over once they got together. But, has anyone ever considered the possibility that Kim Kardashian never existed, and is, in fact, a figment of Kanye's imagination that has been projected out onto the world, Martian Chronicles style?
Alternately, Kanye actually is Kim. Using the same kind of witchcraft that allows her to secure a Vogue cover despite the fact that she is regularly railed against by some of the most vocal people on the Internet and in real life, Kim used a potion similar to the one Voldemort used to reclaim his body to create an entirely new human being.
Kanye is a Big Bang tremor. His presence is monumentally important, yet in actuality so minute, that it can only be detected through decades of searching using highly advanced technology.