Turns out you, being an English speaker, sound just about as weird to the non-English-speaking world as all those undeciphered languages sounds to you. No surprises there, right? But did you know how nasal and whiney you sound? It's true! Well, at least, that's how Sara Marié (a.k.a. Smoukahontas) hears your compatriots.
The Finnish 19-year-old has posted a YouTube vid that claims to approximate how various languages including Spanish, Japanese, Swedish, and, yeah, English sound to non-speakers. Being unfamiliar with several of the tongues she tries on (outside of subtitled movies), we're pretty sure she's got the knack for it. Her fake Japanese, in particular, is pretty sharp.
Her video, though, turns into solid gold when she rolls around to British- and American-inflected English. For her little bursts of approximated dialogue, Marié uses pure, unadulterated gibberish. Her intonations, rhythm, and pitch, however, are almost those of a native speaker. The result is wonderful, charming, somewhat disconcerting nonsense that blew our minds for a few precious seconds.
Well done, Sara. Both you and your hair are, as they old saying goes, balona-value precisey.