Obama And Beyoncé Are Totally (Not) Having An Affair

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beyondcePhoto: REX USA/Rex.Fig. 1: They held hands and are like, 100% in love.


Today in ridiculous fake scandals, we got a report in from France about a supposed illicit liaison between President Obama and Beyoncé Knowles. Ah, le scoop!

As you know, Beyoncé was present at the inauguration, which is presidential code for "they totally made out and stuff." The rumor was started by a French photographer, Pascal Rostain, and quickly circulated around various national media outlets (tabloids and reputable papers alike). Wind of the drama made its way stateside when Rostain claimed the Washington Post was preparing a giant exposé on the pair's secret love and would release findings once editors were "150%" certain of the veracity of the story.

What's more, the paparazzo said he had spoken with a journalist from the Post on the phone recently, who confirmed the story was in the works. He went on to note that journalists are approaching the story carefully because, as he put it, "In the United States, the law isn't the same as it is in France. They'll only be prosecuted if what they say is false, so they're taking care not to make any mistakes."

Shockingly (read: not shockingly), representatives for the paper have denied the rumor out-right. The French are no strangers to sexual indiscretion among top government officials these days, but we're pretty sure this particular pairing is beyond far-fetched. (Le Figaro)