Photo: Courtesy of FX Network; Comedy Central; Jessica Miglio/HBO.— "I just don’t get why they’re called Funyuns. Has anyone ever opened a bag and suddenly they were, like, living in Vanessa Hudgens’ Instagram? No."
— "Why doesn’t the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show take place during Fashion Week?"
— "See, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack."*
— "I think I would do okay on a deserted island as long as they had a Juice Generation. Wait, you’re, like, on a tropical island. You can just make juice. No, wait — you’d need a juicer. Either way, I’d get super skinny. And, juicing’s, like, totally good for your skin."
— "The Real World is, like, not at all like the real world."
— "A friend of mine got a nose job for her sweet 16, and now it totally grew back. Well, not, like, a friend. This girl I started following on Twitter after Harry Styles’ sister accidentally wrote the wrong handle when she was trying to “at” her friend Nicole."
— "Marnie could make it socially appropriate to walk around in a blanket. She could be a model for a blanket catalog."
— "Sometimes I feel like I should be wearing eye cream, but then I just don’t start to."
— "What does Jennifer Lawrence do with her hair now when she wants to put it in a messy bun and get coffee on Sunday mornings?"
— "Mugs with your initials on them are, like, the death of your relationship. Unless someone gave them to you, but then what are they trying to say about your relationship? That you should break up? Rude."
— "Jessa’s the kind of person who, if she had an Instagram — which she doesn’t, because she’s way too cool — random people would write “stop being perfect” on all her photos."