Matt Damon, The Garbage Man
For their opening monologue, Fey and Poehler honed an art form — name dropping. As they glanced out at the star-studded crowd, the pair couldn't help but shout out all the famous mugs in front of them — Redford, Streep, Lawrence. Of course, the jokesters took this opportunity to cut some egos down to size. And, in this instance, that meant reminding Matt Damon of his role in the audience this evening. "On any other night in any other room you would be a big deal, but tonight, and don't take this the wrong way, you're basically a garbage person." Boom.
In case you missed the red-carpet arrivals, Kevin Bacon's daughter, Sosie Bacon, was the onstage escort for presenters and winners. And, while Bacon (senior) made a joke about using his daughter to score an invite to the awards ceremony in the first place, Fey couldn't help but interject and introduce Randy, her son "from a previous relationship." Obviously, Randy was played by Poehler herself. And, after some mother-son bickering, Randy took to the audience to find out who his real father is. Unfortunately, this man was not Idris Elba. A girl can dream.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Gets Hollywood On Hollywood
This year, Louis-Dreyfus sat in the film section. And, our hosts jumped on it like a kid on Halloween candy. "You know us from TV." Cut to Louis-Dreyfus wearing shades and smoking an e-cig while refusing a selfie opp with Reese Witherspoon. Yes.
Amy Poehler & Bono
This was something that we never realized we wanted so badly until we saw someone else having it. Tonight, that thing was the shoulder rub Poehler got from Bono while waiting for her nomination for best leading actress in a comedy television series. And, once she was announced as winner, there was a makeout session with the singer. So epic.
Calling Out Leo On His Supermodel Obsession
This was the moment where Fey and Poehler really tried to see what they could get away with. And, with the brief loss of sound that followed this particular joke, we can't help but think we heard this delightful observation of DiCaprio due to a censorship fail. Fey, when introducing the actor, announced, "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."